Lev Parnas, Astrosplained


Long time no smell.  I haven’t been very astrological in quite a while, but I do have some things to discuss.  I will make a YouTube video for this tomorrow, and you may notice that I have lost 100 pounds.  Or maybe you won’t notice, we’ll see.

So I’m assuming you know who Lev Parnas is and can identify him in the picture above.  I find Lev utterly fascinating.  His face is like a book cover that initially scared me away from reading it, then sucked me in.  I was shocked at his English, his  hot wife, and his huge pile of receipts. He was working on becoming an oligarch, if I’m not mistaken, which is such a wild concept to me.  He’s a different kind of guy.

His Rachel Maddow interview was a gobsmacker, from the unblinking stare of Lev’s lawyer to the Ukrainian numerological rabbi who said Trump was the messiah.  Actually let me pause here to watch it again and smoke a bowl before I go back to astrologizing.



Okay here’s the chart I’m working from, courtesy of astro.com.

lev parnas chart

I don’t have a proper birth time for Lev and thus don’t have any angles.

The Sun is at  16 Aquarius, thus the chart is co-ruled by Uranus and Saturn.  Interestingly John Bolton is involved in this matter, with his prominent Uranus.  I imagine Lev is Bolton’s “dark mirror,” the hideous one who is so much like himself.  Like Wayne LaPierre, Uranus can be a planet of misanthropic, entitled loners, or at least men with no interest in empathy.  I say men because especially with Saturn, Aquarius has a very incel vibe.  The highly evolved Uranian archetype would be Nikola Tesla, with his Uranus on Algol.  And he was famously a lifelong celibate.  Uranus himself was castrated.  There is always a sort of chafing at intimacy and femininity with Aquarius.

Uranus himself is in Libra, conjunct Seginus the Guard and Juno the Spouse.  Libra is all about being accepted, being popular, being liked, having everything look great.  That explains the hot wife and Juno, and also the ruin by association.   Lev’s hot wife is now famous for being married to Lev.  I’ll come back to the ruin by association theme when I discuss Lev’s Pholus placement, but note that Trump has Jupiter on Seginus and is famous for ruining the reputations of everyone who deals with him.  Lev is another dark mirror in this way, coming out of left field (as Uranus will do) with dirty receipts on everybody from the attorney general to multiple senators and the Vice President.  All of the people who know they’re in pictures with Lev should be sweating.

So Saturn and Uranus corule the chart, and Venus is no slouch here, hosting one coruler in each of her signs.  Lev was very capable at making personal connections, stunningly so if you think about it.  I’m very impressed with his attorney, who has seems to have his shit together even if he does burn holes in people with his eyes.

Lev’s Moon is in Scorpio, coruled by Mars and Pluto.  Both of those are actually large and in charge in this chart.  So there are multiple highly-empowered planets in this chart, which is both a locomotive and a mystic rectangle.  A locomotive chart is a driven person, one who can accomplish a lot like Stephen Miller.

Then a mystic rectangle is a higher-dimensional thinker, one who can think outside the box.  With a mystic rectangle you’re always looking at a connoisseur, if not a full-on snob.  This again tracks with the hot wife.  Lev not only wouldn’t marry anyone who looks anything like himself, he probably wouldn’t hire her to clean.  So everything about the Trump ethos, the fake Versailles country clubs, the Playboy models, the access to raw power, all of that works for Lev.  His heavy Venus gives him a taste for the finer things in life, which is exacerbated by the rectangle.

Pluto and Mars, as I said, are both doing great in this chart.  Pluto is at the engine of the locomotive shape and trine coruling Saturn, which is at the caboose.  It’s opposite Venus in Pisces, which makes perfect sense.  If you wanted to have a nice conversation you’d send Marie Yovanovitch.  Lev is the guy you send to threaten Zelensky.  Speaking of Yovanovitch, Lev says he strung Rob Hyde along, that he didn’t take Hyde seriously because of his drinking.  I’m willing to bet Lev knew Hyde would absolutely harm Yovanovitch if he could, and if he had, Lev wouldn’t have cared.  But Lev is a highly capable guy, witnessed by this chart, who knew how to sidestep a high-risk person like Hyde.  You notice his buddy Igor hasn’t said a peep about anything, old-school Russian mob-style.  Nobody knows what Igor’s wife looks like.

The Moon in Scorpio may explain why Lev is out for blood and Igor says nothing.  Apparently when Trump denied even knowing him Lev was hurt. And guess what?  That Scorpio Moon doesn’t get mad, it gets even.  Mars is late in Aries here, meaning Lev is ready, willing, and able to put himself out there and make things happen.  This is in furtherance of the locomotive shape, making him one who does more than just talk.

Pluto is emphasized here, again being the engine of the locomotive and coruling the Moon.   Mark Lerner mentioned in his podcast about the plutocracy we’re dealing with, as Trump has put people like Betsy DeVos, Wilbur Ross, Steve Mnuchin, and others into key positions.  As Lerner noted even the Democrats can’t keep the billionaires out of the conversation.  Lev believed he was in the process of becoming a plutocrat himself, effecting the changes in the American government that he would need to consolidate his economic power in Ukraine.  He was driven by that motivation, that’s why it’s the engine of his locomotive.

Now that I’ve covered the rulers, luminaries, and shapes, let me dive into a few special features of this chart with respect to the asteroids.

With every locomotive chart, in addition to the locomotive and caboose there are also the payload and the void.   Those two, payload and void, are terms that I use, not official astrological terms.  In any locomotive chart there is a patch of blank real estate in the chart where there are no planets.  (Lev has nothing in Gemini through Virgo.)  Knots in the muscles are uncomfortable partly because blood can’t circulate there.  Similarly when you have no planets in a large area of the chart, certain parts of life aren’t being stimulated and they can become sort of itchy.  The center point of that empty space is often something like a psychic bull’s eye, what the person most needs in order to create balance, whether they know it or not.

Then the payload, as I call it, refers to the native’s “valuables.”  If you have a locomotive chart, the locomotive is there to move something important from one place to another, right?  I have found that there is often one or more planets directly opposite the void.  In Lev’s case the Sun is almost exactly in the center of the locomotive at 16 Aquarius.  Then in the void he has Ceres the Earth Mother at 16 Leo.  So in this case I’m not calculating the exact span and finding the center, I’m looking at the asteroid that opposes the Sun right where I expect to see an energetic relationship.

So Ceres the Earth Mother is what Lev wants the most.  Ceres the Earth Mother represents the abundance of the Earth.  If I’m not mistaken Lev’s plan was to control something about the gas production in Ukraine, which is directly on point for Ceres in this position, extracting natural resources.  Also the whole “scorched Earth” tone of Lev’s Maddow appearance; when Ceres’ daughter was kidnapped and dragged into hell, Ceres wouldn’t allow any crops to grow anywhere until she got her daughter back.  Also Ceres plunged into hell to retrieve Persephone, and thus indicates an extreme determination, and where we find the person’s strongest motivation.

This being in Leo, and opposed to the Sun in Aquarius, suggests an extreme sense of entitlement and enormous motivation for wealth.  With his extra strong Venus you’d think Lev would be a very loving guy, but I don’t think so.  His Venus is okay in Pisces generally, and she’s ruling both Uranus and Saturn, the two cranky old coots who rule this chart.  But it’s a complicated relationship where Venus is coruled by both Jupiter and Neptune.  She’s trine Neptune, but square to Jupiter, ordinarily her benefactor.  That would almost be a tie, where one boss likes you and the other doesn’t.  But both of Venus’ corulers are in Sagittarius, and thus Jupiter overrules both Neptune and Venus.  I get exactly why Lev thought Trump was the messiah.  All of this makes sense.

Anyway Venus is about being loved, not loving.  The attention comes inward.  Venus is notoriously shallow and selfish.  Because of what we know of Lev I’m not giving him the benefit of the doubt for being a generally truthful or highly evolved guy.  He’s not.  He’s the worst.  So we see the classic busted Neptune and empowered Saturn creating a grifter, like Trump’s other buddy Bibi Netanyahu.  So many Trumpers have this, shaky Neptune and raging Saturn.  They usually have large Jupiters, too.  They don’t know when to quit.

Lev’s Pallas Athena is conjunct Algol the Blinking Demon.  I noted that Qassem Soleimani had Mars on Algol, and was a legendary military leader.  Lev similarly has exceptional talents at strategy thanks to this placement of Pallas the Field Marshal.  I don’t believe Lev came from money.  I believe he worked his way into the wheels of power through his gifted Pallas on Algol.  With Algol, anything is possible.  You can look like Lev and marry that blonde and meet with the American president more often than most foreign leaders.

Lev has Vesta the True Believer at 15 Pisces, a propos of nothing except in service to the Jupter/Neptune kerfuffle I just described.  Not interacting with anything in any major way, I am led to believe that Lev isn’t a stickler for principle.  He didn’t come forward because Trump lied and he wanted the real truth out there.  No, his Scorpio Moon came forward because he was insulted and wanted to do as much damage as possible.

Another element making Lev a human hand grenade is that he has Chiron and Eris conjunct in Aries.  Chiron is where we have self-destructive tendencies, where we either learn to get control of ourselves or get ourselves killed.  Eris the Bomb Thrower is one who confronts the popular crowd because she’s not accepted.  Eris isn’t invited to a wedding, so she shows up and starts a huge fight among all the jealous women.  All of this is on the nose for the role Lev is playing in the Trump administration.

Lastly I wanted to mention Pholus the Beans Spiller.  Pholus was the centaur tasked with guarding the sacred wine of the centaurs.  Understand that in general the centaurs were a drunken, horny,  unreliable lot, with a decidedly Brett Kavanaugh flair.  So “sacred” is subjective.  Anyway Hercules (a truly strong hero) came along and either tricked or bullied Pholus into giving up the wine, which Hercules then drank all of.  The other centaurs were totally pissed at Pholus, just like a lot of people wish Lev would STFU.

Lev has Pholus at 1 Pisces, opposite fixed star Regulus.  In general I don’t consider a minor asteroid like Pholus unless it’s in contact with something.  In this case though it needs to be looked at because of the role he has played in society.  He is that beans spiller.  I am surprised to find nothing at all happening in Virgo, actually, because Lev is all about the details and keeping receipts.  It would not surprise me if he has Virgo on one of the angles.

Regulus, similarly I would not consider unless there were a planet directly on it.   Regulus is for people who are or want to be kings among men.  Regulus can bring anyone to the top of their game.  But it’s also notorious for crashing people right back down if they mess up.   Case in point Harvey Weinstein with his Regulus contact, who went from being a rapist with carte blanche to likely dying in prison after people describe his disgusting body in court.  But again because of the freakish synchronicity of Lev’s role, where he has dirt on the king that could crash him to the ground, wow that Pholus placement is an eye-popper.






The Three-Card Layout, Tarotsplained

Today I did a reading that is a perfect example of how to take your tarot reading to the next level using one of the most basic layouts.

The three-card layout is the go-to layout that I recommend for beginners.  It allows me to ask almost any question and get a clear, concise answer.  It always has at least four cards (which is neither clear nor concise, but let’s not quibble). This is the most fundamental layout to have in your arsenal IMHO.  I’ll explain.

Position 1 represents the person in relation to the person or situation they’re asking about.

Most situations are actually group dynamics, where two people are interacting within a much larger context.  Position 2 is the mirror of that, how the person or group is reflecting the questioner.  This layout reminds me that everything is relative.  Nothing is fixed.  It’s all about how people bounce off of each other.

Position 3 is the most likely outcome for the questioner based on the current trajectory.  Remember that everything is only probabilities.  The act of simply doing a reading can change the outcome by changing the questioner’s awareness and perspective.  That’s the object of the game IMHO.  So remember that Position 3 isn’t a history lesson, it’s a road sign of coming attractions.

I made my three-card reading always have a fourth position.  Wheeeee!  Think of the first 3 positions as you the reader initiating a conversation with your higher self or guides.   You ask one question in three specific contexts.  Then Position 4 is where — just like a regular conversation — you draw a breath and allow the other person to interject something.  I call it the focus card, but it can be any point the cards would like to make on the matter.  Something like a reminder or an alternative, maybe.  I think of it as literally me taking a breath and waiting for the other person in the conversation (in this case my higher self or guides) to change directions if they’d like.  The best thing I’ve done to cultivate my intuition was learn to be a listener.


When I turned over my Position 4 card in this particular layout I saw that I had the Ace of Pentacles upright.  I thus took it out of Position 4 and put it over the entire reading like a sign over the door.  This is called “exalting the aces.”

I then replaced it with the next one on the pile.  That was also an ace, which also got exalted.  If you get all four aces, they all go up top, each one being replaced with the next one on the pile as you turn it over.  (I lay the cards face down and turn them over.  Here the aces were consecutive and at the end, in Position 4.  But if the ace were in Position 1 I still wouldn’t know that until the whole layout had been done, and would get the same replacement card.)

Aces in tarot are always an indicator of divine potential.  That’s another way of saying they point to a better version of you.  They are like a new path that can be chosen if you are paying attention.

Even in reverse the Aces are enormously helpful.  There is always the hand of an angel extending an offer.  In other words a question with an ace in the answer can always lead to something bigger.  In this way they are almost like Major Arcana cards, in that they can be subtle, referencing a larger and deeper context.  The question is always whether you notice the hand and accept the offer.  That’s the hard part.  Even when you do accept the manna you’re still out in the desert.  That’s why the sky is always gray behind them.


Today I did a three-card layout (with a total of six cards) asking about a project I’m pitching to a freelance client.

This particular reading is teachable because it’s a clear answer to a very common question, with many of the same components people deal with every day:  My client wants me to do something, and I can see a much more profitable and efficient thing we could do.  So I’m pitching that to her.

But she and I don’t communicate well.  We don’t get each other and have to work through an intermediary.  For various reasons we are both invested in continuing the relationship.  But it’s not easy for either of us.


Here we have a great example of how to read the multiple levels of a layout.  There are two Major Arcana cards, one representing me and one my client.  In other words this is about who we really are, and who we are becoming together (whether we get it or not).

The outcome and focus cards are both Minor Arcana cards.  So the specific thing I asked about is neither here nor there.  This, too, shall pass.  It’s happening in order to prove a point or show something to one or both of us.  Personally I think that’s extremely valuable higher-self information.  That’s why I do this.

Then the two aces show me what the actual point is, where there is to be gained in taking this high-road perspective.  I’m correct that there’s a potentially huge financial opportunity.  I’m clear on that because my card (The Star) and the Ace of Pentacles (the one confirming the soundness of a new opportunity like the one I proposed) are both upright.

But there is a lot of reversal in this layout, and it gives the key bits of information that we need in order to truly hear our guides out.  My client’s card (The Hanged Man) is reversed, suggesting that she’s not actually reachable because of her own internal struggles.  She marches to her own drummer even when it’s not appropriate.  This is a major life theme she’s working through, because it’s a Major Arcana card.

My outcome card is also reversed, the 9 of wands.  I can own up to this, I have a chip on my shoulder based on past experience.  Like the man in the card, I’m battle-tested and know I will beat the next challenger too.  But that’s reversed, telling me not to be defensive.  Yes, I’m indomitable.  But that may not be the best thing to be in this instance.  I need to remember to be happy and not right.  Because with my card being The Star upright, I’m certainly as correct as the stars in the sky.

The ever-important focus card, the 2 of swords, is also reversed.  The fact that the guides interjected a reversed card assures me that I don’t know everything, don’t see the full picture.  I’m not entirely clear.  And the card in question, when upright, is a clear message to go with what you know, follow your gut.  The blindfolded woman with the swords is using the force, Luke.  The cards are telling me not to do that, put the swords down, take off the blindfold, sit quietly by the ocean and wait.  There are things I simply cannot intuit at this time.

The specific aces are the upright Ace of Pentacles and the reversed Ace of Cups.  This is a great opportunity to discuss the multiple layers of perspective that can be gleaned from just these two cards of the six.

The upright Ace of Pentacles speaks to the original question, about the proposal I am thinking about sending to my client.  The Ace of Pentacles tells me that — within the context I just mentioned, where there is more to this than meets the eye and I need to chill out and wait — yes this is an enormous financial opportunity.  We’re both sitting on a gold mine, just as I said.

However the reversed Ace of Cups speaks to a burgeoning heart-level connection.  Reversals in general mean “no.”  But an angel doesn’t stick its hand out of the sky to say no.  So a reversed ace refers more to a delay, something that one or both of the people isn’t clear about when it’s a reading about more than one person.  Well, is it one of the people that’s unclear, or both?  Simple to answer.

We have cards representing each of the people.  One is upright, one is reversed.  The reversed one, the extra stubborn Hnaged Man, is pretty straightforward.  One of these people is in their own little world and can’t be communicated with.  The other one is a Star in the sky, perfectly available to all.  So on that level, it’s the client.

However both my outcome and the advice or focus card were reversed Minor Arcana cards.  Both of them suggest me in a certain way not being available, with the defensive 9 of Wands reversed suggesting a chip on my shoulder that I can admit exists.  I do not feel valued or respected by this client.   The reversed 2 of Swords is again an admonition to put down the swords and take off the blindfold, that more is to be revealed.

In sum I can say that whenever you’re curious whether it’s either/or, it’s both.  Always both.  Also that listening to your higher self is both equal parts simple, challenging, and rewarding.










Liz’s Job, Tarotsplained

Gentle Reader Liz asked for a tarot layout about her job.

Because her Sun sign is Virgo, which is an Earth sign, Liz’s significator is the Queen of Pentacles.

Based on her birth date, her life theme card is The Heirophant.  I’ve written in depth about this card and the other Major Arcana card featured in this layout, The Chariot, on the lovely and highly recommended medium.com.  I would advise Liz to look over both of those articles.  The lessons of The Chariot are the answer to her job question.

Before I get to the actual video here are the highlights:

  • Liz’s significator is the Queen of Pentacles because she is a Virgo, which is an Earth sign, and Pentacles represent the Earth.  In this case Earth means everything about the material world, to include money, the home, and health, literally everything we own physically.  I found her upright in the money pile.  So this really is about making her ends meet, and Liz is clear on what the problem is.  It’s always good to check, you know.  Sometimes the cards send me in a very different direction than the client.  😉
  • The next thing I see is that there’s only one Major Arcana card in this layout, the Chariot reversed.  All of the other cards are Minor Arcana, in other words things that will come to pass.  There’s one very clear evolutionary theme for Liz in all of these little petty issues:  trusting her life to take her someplace magical.  When the Chariot is reversed, the idea is to not push the river.  Your thoughts and ideas may be getting in the way of your glorious destiny.  You must be present in your moment, because when the sphinxes decide to move there will be no warning.  But wherever they take you will be better than you could imagine.
  • I have detailed each card in its position in the video below.  In summary, Liz must recognize that she is rock solid.  She has performed as expected or better.  The problem truly is on the other side.  The employer may not be as internally stable as she has thought, and may be robbing Peter to pay Paul.  In other words staying put may not be the safest option.  The paradox of the Chariot is that sometimes you go farthest by not moving at all.
  • The implication of the layout is that Liz is really unhappy to be around this employer but is too afraid to make a move, afraid she won’t find anything better maybe.  The hint is that if you are looking down at how bad it is, you won’t be looking up when the golden opportunity arises — which it will, especially when the Chariot is present.
  • The outcome of this layout is all good news.  Liz will find a better position, much easier on her mind and body.  She will end up in a better place by just being open to the possibilities, even when she can’t see them. When she truly recognizes her own value and rejects the confusion and pettiness of her employer, she will gravitate to a better situation.
  • The means of getting to this better place may be a young person, and it may be an email or even something like a flyer.  Liz should be open to the magical Chariot presenting her with a golden opportunity when the time is truly ripe from her higher mind’s perspective.  Liz can consider that her life may be much more exciting than she can imagine right now.  She need not try to make it so, but practice simply allowing it to be so.


Bill Barr, Astrosplained



Gentle reader,

Long time no smell!  Sorry I’m lazy AF these days so I’m just going to do a video and not a written ‘splain — this guy should be most famous for being the original model for Pepe, not because he’s part of this crime syndicate.  I’m just not in the swing of things lately in terms of my blogging, and I thank you, Patient Reader, for sticking with me.

bill barr chart







Paul LePage, Astrosplained

Gents and Gamines,

So, this guy.  Talk about an idiot.  Paul LePage is a great example of the sort of person I would no longer normally Astrosplain, but at this point he’s a perfect storm of Republican bullshit.  Not only is he pale, stale, frail, and male, but he was voted out. Maybe he’ll hold the door for the loathesome Susan Collins.  Probably not.  Anyway this chart is just too teachable to resist.

Ike militarism

I’m going to do a bit of a civics lesson here, just some basic info to show you how to un-gaslight yourself as you watch the revolution unfold.  If you want to skip to the astrology go to the asterisks.

Here’s a choice quote from the linked article, in which Paul LePage laments the fairer election changes we are finally making.  We’re moving away from the winner-take-all method that has put the Republican minority firmly in control pretty much throughout my lifetime.

“What would happen if they do what they say they’re gonna do, white people will not have anything to say. It’s only going to be the minorities who would elect. It would be California, Texas, Florida,” he added.

That’s the key to this whole conversation, the word minority.  White people, and especially the ones he’s talking about in Maine, are absolutely the minority in this country.  Everything Paul LePage says is exactly upside-down on Earth 1, where I live.

I know that so many of you Gentle Reader types are international, and I thank you for dropping by.  I can only imagine how hard it is to understand what’s really going on in America if you have to rely on our press, plus I’m sure you have your own problems to think about.

Understand that while our press is “free” it is also profoundly corrupt, like everything else in this country.  Our current understanding of corporations is a pervasive malignance as you may have noticed.  The famous military-industrial complex has spawned a prison-industrial complex as well.

The American press does enormous disservice with the way they frame our conversations, significantly to the right of the “American street.”  For example they keep talking about the Gallup polls showing 40 percent of the country supports him.  Be advised that I’ve never known anyone who has ever participated in a Gallup poll even once, and I’ve lived all over this country, coast to coast.

So today’s little beans spiller used to be the governor of Maine, a state known for its natural beauty, Stephen King living there, and a large hill of uneducated white conservatives.  It’s a cooler, prettier, closer-to-New-York version of Alabama, but without the African-Americans that make Alabama worth existing.  So just for laughs before I go real deep on Paul LePage, some quick facts from worldpopulationreview.com:

POPULATION:                       Percent of US Population:

Alabama 4,888,949                            1.49%

Alaska 738,068                                   0.22%

Arizona 7,123,898                                2.17%

Maine     1,341,582                           0.41%

Kentucky  4,472,265                           1.36%

Wyoming    573,720                            0.17%

Utah 3,159,345                                      0.96%

Kansas 2,918,515                                    0.89%

West Virginia 1,803,077                    0.55%

(Subtotal)                                             8.22%

[So all of those states combined almost equal Texas.  They’re nowhere near California in terms human capital.]

California 39,776,830                       12.13%

Texas 28,704,330                                    8.75%

Florida   21,312,211                               6.5%

(Subtotal                                               27.38

Each state gets two senators.  So in other words, Kamala Harris speaks for about 6.6 percent of our overall population.  Susan Collins of Maine speaks for about 0.2 percent.  This is why the right is so quick to claim false equivalency, like Fox News’ “fair and balanced” mantra.  In real life California puts so much money into the federal government that nobody in any of these dinky ass red states should ever say a fucking word but “thanks, California.”  They bite the hands that feed them on the regular.

For example, in real life Obion County, Tennessee stopped having a fire department years ago because they couldn’t afford it.  Meanwhile the county I live in, Los Angeles County, has its own air force.  Without the money California pumps into the federal system, Maine, Alabama, West Virginia, North Carolina, all the states with huge military bases, all that money dries up and blows away.  If the red states had to live within their means they would die.   So Marsha Blackburn, Bob Corker, all of them should STFU and ask how high California wants them to jump.  Think how much you heard John McCain’s mouth, for the big 1% of the population that he represented.

I included Utah in the above as they are so disproportionately represented in our judiciary committee and our politics overall.  Mike Lee, Mike Crapo, and Orrin Hatch are all Mormons.  Granted Crapo is from somewhere else.  But Mormonism is Utah like Catholicism is Rome.  And the two churches are equally disgusting IMHO, though Mormons allow zero variance from the rules.  The Mormon Church takes at least partial credit for the extreme rightward lurch of our American judiciary.   They were also largely behind the passage of the anti-LGBTQ Prop 8 in California.  Anyway keep in mind when Mitt Romney opens and closes his mouth unit that at best he represents less than 1% of the American population, in real life.

I just randomly chose a few smaller states whose representatives are prominent, like Wyoming which now has Liz Cheney.  Conservatives often act like everything is the Westminster Kennel Club, like your pedigree is what matters, and thus Liz Cheney is the natural heir to the throne.  Kansas, which has a parade of bossy jerks like Mike Huckabee claiming to be the Moral Majority.   Carol Miller, the Repug who beat out Richard Ojeda in West Virginia, thought she was clever at the Cohen hearings.  I sometimes hear the Repugs say something about a “silent majority” that they believe exists in support of themselves.  Paul LePage just blew the whole game in the first-linked article above.  Definitely worth reading.

Anyway all of that is to just give you some perspective on the way people talk about demographics in my country.  It’s grossly misrepresented as a center-right country.  It really isn’t.  Texas is the only one of the Big 3 states that I would put on the plug ignorant page with West Virginia and (white) Alabama.   Even that will come down to a ground game, as we see with Beto almost taking it.   It’s grassroots or die for the Democrats.  They have to get off their lazy asses and connect with citizens rather than PACs.


On to the astrology.

Paul LePage chart

First things first, Paul has the Sun in Libra, making this a Venus-ruled chart.  Now, for a guy who’s a famous hater, Venus may seem an odd choice.  But remember that Venus is not necessarily about women or even love.  It’s about affections and connections, the old “who you know and who you blow.”  Venus is about connecting to other people, needing and being needed by them, that interpersonal symbiosis.

I will mention quickly that this is a locomotive chart, where the native is a getter-done of things.  I have observed many locomotives to have both a “payload” near the center, where the most important planets are housed, and an itchy spot across from it, in the center of the “bull’s eye” of empty real estate in the chart.  Here the payload is the Sun and the combust Neptune.

I’m going to zoom around to the very last planet, Neptune, and insert just this quick bit up top and probably not come back to it, because it’s combust.  The combustion of Neptune is an actual disaster in this chart, worse than a calamity.   This person had as little chance of becoming a nice guy as Ayn Rand did, IMHO, for very similar reasons.  Neptune is where we may either engage the divine or not.  Like Ayn Rand with her deeply broken Venus, LePage was born with a non-functioning integrity unit.  Neptune is debilitated in phony Libra.  Nothing does well conjunct Algorab.   And nothing does well combust.  This chart shows the ego (Sun) swallowing the shriveled, atrophy-prone sense of integrity (Neptune), basically.

The Sun is on the same degree as Seginus the Guard, which explains a lot about the ordinarily charming and light-hearted Libra native, how a gentle, artsy Libra can be such a misanthropic crank.  This is why horoscopes, or just working from the Sun sign, can be extreme oversimplification. In this case I believe it’s Saturn and Jupiter spoiling the soup, along with a slew of dark stars.

There are multiple fixed stars to look at in this chart:

  • Seginus (Sun)
  • Algorab (Neptune)
  • Regulus (chart ruling Venus conjunct Saturn)
  • Mintaka (opposite Jupiter)
  • Hamal (North Node)
  • Algol (asteroid America)

I’ll discuss all of the fixed star contacts in greater depth below, but remember that Trump has Seginus conjunct Jupiter.  That makes Seginus the marker for the political disgrace that will come to everyone connected to him (Jupiter ruling politics).

The mystery of the extreme hater Libra is solved when we look at the chart ruling Venus’ placement.  She has multiple things going against her here:

  • In Virgo, the virginal sign of not connecting with others at the heart level as Venus lives to do;
  • Conjunct Saturn, the guy who makes everything cold, sour, and materially focused;
  • Both of those conjunct Regulus the Heart of the Lion, which does not bode well for anyone with as little integrity — or personal integration is another way to say that — as Paul LePage.

The Regulus contact here (and the busted integrity issues of Neptune)  is probably what puts Paul LePage white supremacy-adjacent.  Regulus is about being a king among men, or feeling that way.  IIRC both Farah Suckabee Flanders and her dad have Regulus contacts.  When Regulus is contacted in a highly-evolved native’s chart, it can make them what Buddhists call a wheel-turning king, like Genghis Khan, still revered for many years after his death.  (I realize Genghis was not known for his warm, cuddly nature.  But people followed him because he lifted and united them.)


Back to LePage, I was not surprised to see Jupiter in his own sign of Sagittarius, where he is really feeling the urge to get out there and put his name on stuff.  Especially in Sagittarius Jupiter is likely to chafe at any constraints or demands placed upon him.  Trump’s Sagittarius Moon is really classic poorly-evolved Jupiter.  (The Seginus contact with the Sun here suggests that probably nothing will develop in an integrated way.)  Jupiter is all about the “Trump at Mar-A-Lago” feeling, being the Big Man on Campus, all eyes on you, everything just the way you like it.  My beloved Wesley Willis had a prominent Jupiter, but because of his life circumstances it was the thing that saved him.  Just for an interesting contrast.  Wesley had a lot of things keeping him humble, no matter how great he was in real life.  Sort of opposite, like the theme of this chart.

LePage’s Jupiter is also opposite fixed star Mintaka, which explains a lot to me.  This is probably the linchpin that made his entire personality go south.

Probably the darkest marker in this chart, however is fixed star Hamal conjunct the North Node.  I know that astrology is all based on the wheel, the idea that what goes around comes around, there are two sides to every coin, and other similarly applicable cliches.   There is nothing that is purely dark or purely light.  As we see in the yin-yang symbol, there are really three things:  the light, the darkness, and the ability to flip back and forth as we wish.  There is always light in the darkness and darkness in the light.

So with fixed star Hamal, that’s something we look at in crime charts.  Hamal is “symbolic of the death wound.”  From the above link:

Fixed star Hamal is of the nature of Mars and Saturn according to Ptolemy. It causes violence, brutishness, cruelty and premeditated crime. [2]

Hamal on the Node here reminds me that everything is an orchestration, really.  We don’t fall into our charts by “accident.”  Our higher selves set our destinies up just the way we need them, no matter how it looks to our egos (Sun) or head minds (Mercury).

The Nodes and Neptune are the first places to look for the native’s interaction with their higher self, their sense of the sacred, any sense of fitting into a larger narrative outside their own ego’s perspective.  Neptune is the voice of the higher self, the part that is inextricably entwined with all other life.  That can speak to us through our heart mind via the Moon.  Our heart minds can connect with other people through Venus.  And that puts me back on track.

Especially with Seginus and Regulus, and the base Algorab conjunct Neptune, there’s very little chance this native would have become a loving nurturer.   Unlike Wesley Willis (who didn’t have all these dark stars) there was nothing to humble LePage, so he continued to spiral into the craziness displayed in the first-linked article.  Nothing checked his Regulus entitlement, and he had the social and financial connections he needed to advance his locomotive, so here we are.

I note that the Moon is in Capricorn, where it doesn’t belong.  The Moon and Venus being the two soft spots in a chart, LePage has rocks there with Saturn/Capricorn.

Mars is in Scorpio, which he co-rules.  So his sense of taking action, tackling issues head-on, fighting for what you want, all of that is rock solid in this chart.  Pluto, the coruler of Scorpio, is in Leo and thus on the ego’s agenda with the Sun/Seginus in Libra.

Uranus can’t really be overlooked, because it’s the engine of this locomotive chart, with the Moon in Capricorn at the caboose.  Uranus is where each man believes himself an island.  It can be very lonely and alienated.  But there is also a tendency for Uranian personalities to expect other people to meet them where they’re at, like a resentment of not being truly a part of the society they refuse to join.  Uranus can be very antisocial, even while focused on large-scale issues of humanity, because of that inability to connect specifically with Venus. (Uranus was castrated, unable to consummate or connect with others.)

Overall the only surprising thing in this chart, well a couple.  I thought it would have been a wedge or bundle, because of the way he seems to live in a bit of a bubble reality.  But I believe his tragic Neptune allows for him to exist in a fantasy world of his own making.  He’ll always be the Mayor of Tinytown in his own mind, especially with the Regulus contact.

His Uranus is opposite his extra large Jupiter, and I think that adds a certain stubborn weirdness that can’t be overcome with a million years in charm school.

The other surprising thing for me was the Libra Sun, because as discussed above, nothing about this guy says “Libra” to me.  But of course he is a national figure because he does represent some people in this country.  And unfortunately for us all, he represents their reprehensible views very well.





Hoda Muthana, Astrosplained

Gentle reader,

I’m warning you this is a long post.  I have so, so many feelings about all of this, for so many reasons.  I did not expect to have my mind blown by this story.  I’m putting the actual astrology between asterisks.  So if I start ranting and you just want to read the astrology just scroll down to the next asterisks.  I will give you a quick synopsis:

  • Sun and Pluto both in Scorpio.  Mars-Pluto ruled chart.  Sun and Mars in mutual reception.  Mars is the primary ruler, with Pluto also exalted in his own sign.  This is a very egotistical, self-centered, highly aggressive girl.
  • Locomotive chart with Mars at the engine and Saturn the caboose.  Mars on the same degree as Ceres, 12 Leo, showing extreme motivation, a willingness to charge into hell.
  • There about 125 degrees to the
  • Moon conjunct the raging Leo Mars.  Her Moon and chart-dominating Mars are both ruled by the Sun, her sense of self, her belief in her own validity.  She’s quite obnoxiously self-assured if you couldn’t tell.
  • Scorpio stellium including Sun, Venus, Sado, North Node, Juno, Nessus, Jupiter, and Pluto.  All of this is self-explanatory within the term “ISIS bride.”
  • Venus conjunct Sado, the asteroid marking sadism like the sort of thing ISIS is famous for.
  • Nessus conjunct Juno, literally the spouse or partner of the domestic abuser.
  • Pallas Athena in the bull’s eye, opposite the “payload” as I call it, the precious valuables at the center of the locomotive.  Pallas Athena is the field marshal, the one who sees patterns and creates strategies with her diamond-shaped, highly rational head.  Note that this is at 19 Taurus, the sign of Venus in her spoiled wife role (as opposed to her hostess wife role in Libra).  This is really on the nose for an ISIS bride.  Worse yet it’s directly across from Nessus and Juno at 18 Scorpio, and Jupiter at 20 Scorpio.
  • America is squeezed in between Jupiter and Pluto, again quite on the nose for an ISIS bride.  This is a very egotistical, aggressive person with the Mars described above.  Trump is a good example of a low Jupiter, running the government like it’s all for him personally.  And his buddy Steve Bannon , like Miller and many other Trump types, are the other side of the extremist coin from ISIS.
  • Pluto is exalted, and she has two fixed star contacts adding extreme capability.  She’s quite off the rails and likely always will be.  She does not have a medium setting, and is unlikely to ever chill out.
  • Asteroid Isis is at 11 Taurus, almost exactly at the center of the “payload” in the stellium, described in detail below.  Like Pallas in opposition, this really reeks of an ISIS bride, directly across from Venus conjunct Sado.   All of this suggests her in partnership with a violent sadist who also abuses her. She’s a twisted sister with very dark ideas and expectations.  I warn you I have a lot of feelings about all of this, it’s a long post below.
  • Saturn and Neptune are in mutual Saturn, which is IMHO unfortunate for Neptune here.  As might be expected with a religious extremist, Hoda has likely mistaken the map for the territory, her authoritarian Pluto gravitating to the worst reflections of her religion because she can’t do moderation.  Then her Saturn — and her rich, connected dad — give her unrealistic expectations because she’s quick to believe her own bullshit.  Limitations and cold, hard realities can be very foggy for her.

  • This little charmer has at least two high-voltage fixed-star contacts:
    • Mercury on Spica (and thus Arcturus)
    • Saturn on Fomalhaut

      As always, these are blessings or curses depending upon the integrity of the native.  As mentioned above, the Saturn-Neptune mutual reception, where they’re in each other’s signs and thus working on each other’s agendas, allows her to buy into her rich dad’s bullshit to a disastrous extent in the opinion of your humble astrologer.

  • Overall this chart shows someone who has a remarkable life story, a great degree of talent and many opportunities to draw from.  But she done fucked up.  And just like Louis CK or Jim Jefferies she thinks because she has some talent and said “Sorry, my bad” that now she gets to come back and keep rolling.  She seems to think some jail time is plenty of atonement, see her Neptune malfunction referenced above.

If you want to skip my personal thoughts on this scroll down to the next set of asterisks.


I’m not so focused on the bad men anymore in terms of this blog, because something deep inside of me is shifting.  I’ve come to realize that when other people make negative choices, it doesn’t have to affect me unless I choose to join in their misery.  If you look at my chart, I have a Cancer Sun and a Neptune bucket handle.  So the two intuitive planets are my life’s focus.  I’m getting spookier as I get older, too, with larger visions and understandings, more contact with a wider range of non-physical beings.  My chart sets me up to internalize and process everything I experience, especially with my 8th house Moon.

I’ve learned to do “simple pleasures for simple minds” kind of stuff, and it has made me slightly sane.

I’ve seen that even the worst people have their place in the scheme of things.  In other words something has shifted inside of me and I’ve come to see that nothing that happens on Earth actually makes any difference.  It’s all like a laboratory, where we can choose to incarnate to do our experiments and work out our processes.  Money-loving, conflict-driven people have created a world that has really never seemed worth living in to me.  (I started wishing I was dead at age 7.)  But of course I’m only responsible for my own choices.  It need not be a problem.

That’s largely why I started doing astrology, because I need to try and place most of humanity into a context that I could understand.  Especially the ones I find completely incomprehensible, like most of the people I’ve profiled on this blog.  But all of that was a warm-up for not freaking out about this next thing.

They’re talking about a 900-year storm that could potentially put my city, Long Beach, under 10 feet of water.  America is the new Atlantis, of that I have no doubt.  All the same hubris and disregard for the planet and her life forms. the worship of hedonism and technology, the ruthless, remorseless greed, it’s all in play again, all the old things are new.  I know that it would serve America right to be washed off the Earth.  I never was part of ‘Murca.  I’d like to make us great for the first time.

If I have to deal with losing my new home, where I’ve finally found some comfort and rest, started to feel like I belong and can thrive, well, fuckety.  I’d rather not.  Much as I’d love the racial justice of South Central LA being the new beachfront property, it would suck to have about 15 miles of extremely dense population get washed into the ocean.  I like it here.  I’d rather live on a version of Earth where that didn’t happen.  But I’m ready to just wait and see.  I’ve decided to enjoy the adventure no matter how it looks.  So it’s not that easy to piss me off these days.


And that brings me to Hoda Muthana.  If you haven’t heard, she’s a young woman who was born in New Jersey to a Yemeni diplomat who was later naturalized.  She was born in New Jersey (listen for the distinctive New Jersey accent, like Jon Stewart and the Sopranos).  She ran off to Syria, married several ISIS fighters, and had an admittedly adorable baby.  Now she’s in a refugee camp being guarded by Kurdish women (who are IMHO actually worth a shit, unlike so many people) in a refugee camp.  So her dad is suing America because she wants to come back now.  Not gonna lie, I have a lot of feelings about this.  Got right under my skin somehow.   Let’s look at her stars.

Hoda muthana chart

So this is an interesting sort of chart for the Twitter peeps who are always asking about stelliums.  Hoda Muthana has the Sun at 5 Scorpio, and lots of other stuff, too.   (I have to confess that when I say her name out loud it sounds quite like “Ho the Putana,” with putana being of course the all-purpose Italian word for subhuman woman.)

Scorpio is co-ruled by Mars and Pluto.  Along with Saturn, those three are the Malefics, with I think Saturn being the greater and Mars being the lesser, and then of course they didn’t know about Pluto but he’s no slouch in the whole hierarchy of bullies.  Saturn is about the material focus, and specifically it’s the opposing force to Neptune, from whence we may align with our higher selves.   This is why (IMHO) they say the love of money is the root of all evil.  Because when you love money more than people, you lose access to your higher self, reflected in their higher selves.  Capitalism=abuse, wherein people cannibalize each other although there is enough for everyone.   Hoda has Saturn and Neptune in mutual reception, but let me not get ahead.

The other two malefics, Mars and Pluto, co-rule this young lady’s chart with her Sun in Scorpio.  It’s a little hard to tell from where the names are written on the chart exactly where the planets are, because Scorpio is so full there isn’t room to write it all.  But she has nothing in Sagittarius.  All that stuff from the Sun to Pluto is in Scorpio.  The only thing in Libra is her Mercury.

Mars is the one who takes action.  He does not consider consequences.  He’s the God of War because he has a huge amount of energy and needs to expend it.  As Mars evolves he may learn to control his impulses, derive some self-discipline especially through Saturn, and become a leader.  This is akin to someone like General McMaster, who has been around enough to have more perspective.  The idea is that such a person has more clarity of thought, and will not send others off to make the same mistakes that he has made.  This is the main process of the Aldebaran-Antares axis that I do yammer on about, the thing of whether to roll with our most destructive impulses or harness our energies for their highest possible use.

Then Pluto is like the back fence of our solar system (at least as we think of it now).  Way, way out yonder in space Pluto can be seen as the doorway out of our solar system.  There is no in-between with Pluto.  There are no half-measures.  There is no medium setting, only on and off.  I also have prominent, disastrous Pluto, so I’m speaking from experience here.  That plus my raging Aldebaran Mars make it really hard for me to sit still and let things work themselves out, as described above.  I share this with Hoda.  Maybe that’s why she pisses me off so extremely.   She takes my head to bad places, many of them.

This is a locomotive chart, adding to the enormous amount of drive that a Mars-ruled chart will tend to have.  Expect significant physical energy from her, hardiness, and probably a high pain-tolerance threshold because Mars gets on his roll and doesn’t care what happens.   Every locomotive has an engine and a caboose.   And hey, guess what planet is driving the train of her life?  Mars!  Yep.  Conjunct the Moon and Ceres, in Leo, ruled by the Sun.  So Mars and the Sun in mutual reception, along with Neptune and Saturn.

So while Mars the God of War is absolutely ruling this chart the other co-ruler, Pluto, is ruling his own roost.  Again Pluto is out there on the fringe, where we look for all manner of extremism.   When highly evolved, Pluto can make someone a searcher for truth who will make any sacrifice for it.  An evolved Pluto makes a great detective, because you can’t get anything past them.  Their minds know all the darkest corners of the human experience.  These are the people who read true crime novels, the friends who love a dirty joke, the people you can’t shock.   Scorpios dislike the weak sauce, is what it is.

When less evolved, Mars is just aggressive, obnoxious, oblivious to all but his own impulses.  A less-evolved Pluto is sneaky and meaner than a snake.  For cruelty, sadism, anything that seems completely uncalled for or over-the-top, look to Pluto.  Stephen Miller and Omarosa are both classic Plutonian personalities.  Miller is the one who came up with not only separating the children but making it permanent, like no reunification, as a punishment and deterrent for seeking asylum on our southern border.  Absolute sadism, no brakes.  Then Omarosa secretly collected the receipts the whole time, like from Day 1.  That’s Pluto in the house, too.  Plutonian personalities may or may not caught up in petty control bullshit.  But they never show their hands.

So again, Hoda has a Scorpio stellium, with Mars at the engine of her locomotive chart, and Pluto in his own sign of Scorpio.  You can’t really tell if someone is a sociopath by looking at their astrological chart, because the chart only shows the nature, not the nurture.  And there’s always that bugaboo free will.   It’s down to the person whether they will make lemonade or just start throwing lemons at people’s heads, basically.  You have to look at their track record to see how many lemons they might have, and how they appear to be using them.

In this analogy Hoda is a giant lemon tree, like a mini orchard in one tree.  The caboose of her locomotive chart, the period at the end of her sentence, is Saturn the Bean Counter.  He is not only at the tail end of the locomotive, a full sign away from any other planets that are in his sign (giving him an added bit of emphasis), but in Pisces and retrograde.  The retrograde just makes all the things of Saturn that much more complicated for the native to master.  For example she may not really have thought the whole “moving to Syria to marry this heavily-armed zaddy” thing through in a truly pragmatic nuts-and-bolts sort of way.  Whoopsie!  (Sociopaths often focus in the short-term, moving from one impulse to the next without ever considering consequences.   Like the guy who kidnapped Jayme Closs.  They want something, so they get it.  Lather, rinse, repeat.)

Like me Hoda has Saturn conjunct fixed star Fomalhaut (5:48 Pisces) (sorry it’s not shown on the chart).   This is said to “give an immortal name” by the ancients.  The deal is it’s one of the major magnitude stars, one that brings in support from higher realms.  So it’s likely that a lot of people who had Fomalhaut were highly successful in their fields, because they were able to gain unique and valuable perspectives — which again, would be peaches and cream in a highly evolved Mars chart.  If she had her anger well-managed that Fomalhaut would give her great depth of insight.  She may be a truly brilliant woman.  From the above-linked site:

Saturn conjunct Fomalhaut: Accidents, ailments affecting the lungs, throat and feet, loss through enemies, friends, Mercurial affairs, bands and companies, wrongfully accused, affairs involved at end of life, sudden death and family cheated out of their rights. [4] Justin Bieber 0°01, Woody Allen 1°03′, Courtney Love 1°11′, Boris Johnson 1°39′, Nigel Farage 2°15′

When I look at the list, I don’t really wish Courtney Love any harm but I can definitely see her bringing a stack of it onto herself, like the others on that list.   And me, too.  I have Saturn on Fomalhaut.  And I have caused myself enough heartache in fairness.  I don’t know about the others, but I have paid dearly for my integrity.

To go straight back to the astrology skip ahead to the next set of asterisks.


I have paid dearly for my integrity, enough to repeat it.   I’m a lowly astrologer living on my fixed income, because I’d rather be that than a dishonest anything.   Wheee!  And hey, let’s compare apples to apples.  As an angry teenager from a dysfunctional home I became acutely aware of the genocidal campaigns against my mother’s ancestors.  My raging T-square Aldebaran Mars, and my Saturn Fomalhaut, everything about the troubles of the 1980s made my blood boil.  In my early 20s I traveled to Northern Ireland to visit an IRA prisoner in the H blocks of Long Kesh.

I went there and saw it for myself.  I met a whole family, and I wasn’t sorry to support one of their family members.  I saw how they lived, how their son was held.  I came back to America knowing my own history better, still really angry, but without having married anybody, coming anywhere near a videotape or a gun,  joining or swearing allegiance to anything or anybody, etc., not even England, much less my own country.  Right?

And there were zero videos of the IRA putting people in cages and lighting them on fire, no beheaded journalists, no gang-raped anybody.  My distant cousins were framed as religious zealots — a complete falsehood.  The British Empire does not enjoy the separation of church and state.  To refuse Protestantism is to refuse loyalty to the crown, and my mother’s people weren’t having it.  It’s an ethnic cleansing thing, not religious.  Just to be clear about the fine points.

Unlike the situation that lured Hoda to Syria, back then my kinfolk in Northern Ireland were being brutalized on the news, as were our only friends the Palestinians.  My personal visit to Northern Ireland made the IRA seem not only valid but inevitable, more than just necessary.   My cousins are not all going to die of despair in the acceptable level of violence, the British eventually gave up on that idea.  I’m really glad the situation has evolved.  I’m not even thinking about the hard border of Brexit.  It will all work out, like everything.

Anyway I have a lot in common with Hoda and am using myself as a bellwether to judge her by.  I realize that when I use myself as a moral compass I end up not liking almost anybody, which is unfortunate for me.  I know that sounds wrong as hell.  But some of you know what my life has been like.  You know how hard I’ve had to work to be a decent person, and how much it means to me, the price I have paid to stand on this soapbox.  Thank you, gentle reader, for bearing with me while I work through this ugly mirror.

So Mars and the Sun in mutual reception, especially in such an extremely aggressive Mars-Pluto chart, it’s unlikely to end well for society.  Those two totally work on the Scorpio stellium’s agenda, no question.  Again, I have to balance what I see in the chart versus known facts about her choices.  Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has extreme Mars, and her whole chart is just a giant pile of T-squares.  Really it’s an intense amount of combustion going on with AOC, like she’s a mini-Mars herself.  But her Mars seems to be much more evolved, based on the results I can measure.  She’s much more effective in her leadership than Hoda.

Back to Hoda and her little Scorpio nightmare — holy shit, girl.  Seriously.  Though she has this whole trainwreck in Scorpio, nothing is in the Sun’s corona.  So no combustion.  Even her Mercury is way over yonder in Libra, on Spica.  That’s the second major fixed star contact in the chart, the second thing that will definitely wreck her life if her integrity fails.  Twice the opportunity to become famous, to develop leadership ability, to be in the right place at the right time, to have manna fall, to be in God’s spotlight.  All of those things depict Spica.

Also Spica is conjunct Arcturus, closer to us than heaven’s gate.  But Arcturus is about children being born knowing their higher selves.  (I have this on the IC.)    I have no doubt that this is why she feels like she should come back to America and become a big anti-radicalizer.  I would be amazed if her son wasn’t a wonderfully positive person, the proverbial two wrongs making a right, much like with Barron Trump.  I do believe he will pleasantly surprise us one day too.  She has clearly had an enormous experience and has a lot of perspective to share.  No doubt she’s a 100 percent believer in that.

Before I go further, I warned you I have lots of feelings.    Let’s discuss her actual words.   I know many of you read this blog from around the world.  I can only imagine how my country looks to other countries.  If you want a layered and nuanced look at this see below.  If you’re not interested in my rant and just want the astrology without the many things that were triggered by this story, go below the asterisks.

HODA:  I’m sure there’s no problem.  My lawyer is working on it and I’m sure he will win the case.

RICHARD:  Do you think you’ll be able to go to the United States?  Do you want to go to the United States?

HODA:  I prefer America other than anywhere else.  (She went to the Be Best school of sounding like a bona fide American.  That’s sarcasm, because Be Best sounds illiterate.)

RICHARD:  What do you want to do if you go back to the United States?  What do you think will happen to you if you’re allowed to go back?

HODA:  Of course I’ll be given jail time.

So in fairness, shame on Richard Engel for asking her these two questions:  what she wants, and what she thinks will happen.  Because that  (a) set her up to talk about her preferences and the galling certainty that she has no problem coming back, and (b) have her tell us how she thinks shit should work for her, like she knows she’s grounded and she’s fine with that.  As if anybody in this entire country GAF what this biddy wants or prefers, or how intense her sense of entitlement may be.   I have to admit it was an amazing feat of leadership, to get me on the same exact page with Trump and Pompeo.   The clanking metal balls on her, suing to come back here.

Just for perspective, serving in the United States military — with all the inherent complications — is one of the highest values of Native Americans.  The Navajo Code Talkers are only one example.  The major contributions of Native America to the US military are mind-blowing. This.   Every pow wow I ever went to opened with a veterans’ honor song, often a color guard.  We don’t in any way deserve them.  I’m going to smoke a bowl and geek out on pow wow videos for a little while to get over how much I fucking hate Hoda Muthana.

After all the shit they’ve been through, the primary way to gain respect in that community is through military service.  Okay?  What modern history calls a “warrior” in the old ways was called a “grown man.”  Native American leaders prove themselves, male or female.  Navajos and other Natives are still, to this day, defending our country with their lives, fighting ISIS.  But Hoda prefers to live here and is sure it’s no problem.  May a hellmouth open up and swallow her.

My heart can’t really take a full discussion of like the Buffalo Soldiers or the Tuskegee Airmen, I just can’t right now.  I personally know people who have come to the United States after serving in our military, usually burning all their bridges in their home countries in our service, literally and figuratively.  And then not been granted citizenship!!!!!  Breathe that shit in!!!!

There isn’t a word for how much I actually loathe Hoda Muthana.  Her father said something like he loves America and will always defend it.  And then sues us to force us to allow his ISIS daughter back in, because hey, she prefers that.  And he was a rich enough, well-connected-enough Yemeni to swing the whole “diplomatic appointment, not manipulating my way into citizenship wink wink here’s the cash” move that brought them here in the first place.  So they’re all citizens because she was born in New Jersey.  By his logic they’re all citizens of Syria now, because that’s where her baby was born.  Don’t let the door hit them in the asses on their way out.

For an analogy, let’s say America is a big apartment building.  This family moves in, like many others, fine.  Their daughter takes up with some boys on the other side of town, because they want to burn this apartment complex to the ground.  So she moves across town to stay with them, and has a kid there.  Then she realizes, hey, they are some really mean assholes!  WTF?!?  This sucks!  She gets support and shelter from the Kurdish women in the refugee camp.

She relly, relly needs to get back to New Jersey on the pronto, because the Americans are about to pull out of Syria and then everybody’s getting killed, like all of the Kurds.  So that’s gonna be totally icky and she needs to get out of there.  But we don’t want her back here because she wanted to burn our building down.  So because her dad is super committed to the housemates, he sues us to force us to let her back in.  OMFG, just trash.  Fucking beyond trash, the lot of them.

So yeah, if her father had a scrap of decency — and clearly he doesn’t — and he really wanted to protect America, he would pack his whole treacherous family up and move back to Yemen.  Or Syria.  Or anyplace where people like them better than here, which is pretty much everywhere but here.  Because in this case I’m on the same page as the MAGA people.  That’s no mean feat, since I don’t even believe in borders at all, I believe the Earth owns us not the other way around.  But I definitely believe in the social contract.  And this whole shithead family has done nothing but abuse the social contract because they were privileged enough to do so.

Sorry for the rant but OMFG this bakes my clams, like Confederates but even more outrageous because they’re from Yemen.  Went to Syria to support an army against the Native Americans, African-Americans, and immigrants from the whole rest of the planet — including Yemen — who serve the United States military.  No qualms about coming back.

Also, not for nothing (big New Jersey phrase, I’m sure Hoda says that all the time because of her deep New Jersey roots) her surety that she can come back here and go to jail is super adorable for all the reasons listed above.  (Again shame on Richard Engel for setting her up to look like such an asshole, as though she can or should dictate terms.)  But it’s extra fun since the actual penalty for treason in America is hanging.  We once hung a guy for pulling our flag down during the Civil War.  But she’s quite sure we’ll give her a time out for joining ISIS.  She has no idea how much she’d be better off in Syria, or anywhere but here.  Her whole gene pool should fuck off.


Anyway back to astrology.  Here’s the chart again for reference after all my blah blah blah.

Hoda muthana chart

When I see a locomotive, I often observe two components aside from the engine and caboose:  1) What I refer to as the payload, a concentration of planets somewhere near the center of the locomotive, across from the bull’s eye; and 2) something right in the middle of the bull’s eye.  This chart fits both of those.

The payload is the Scorpio stellium, which I will now look at in-depth.  The thing that freaks me out about ISIS — and would have repelled me immediately at any age — is their sadism.  That’s simply not called for, ever.  Beginning after the Sun at 5 Scorpio and working clockwise now, we have Venus conjunct asteroid Sado at 13 Scorpio, the North Node at 14, Juno the Spouse at 18 conjunct Nessus the Abuser at 18, then Jupiter at 20, America at 23, and Pluto at 27.  (Again it looks like Pluto is in Sagittarius because there isn’t room to write the words.)

In this case the “payload” is from 21 Libra to 27 Scorpio.  By my calculation the center of that is about 9 degrees Scorpio.  That puts the dead center of the payload itself — just from Mercury to Pluto — between the Sun and Venus, which is where the fun really begins.

Venus is about affections and connections, the people in your life.  This is a person who relies very much on their community, and communities in general, with Venus right on the North Node.  Her destiny as an ISIS bride is spelled right out here in no uncertain terms.  With Venus on Sado, love and cruelty are inextricably bound.  Especially in anyone with a Scorpio stellium this is an extreme red flag that gives me great concern for her child’s wellbeing.  She hurts the ones she loves, it’s her thing.

Further along that theme she has Nessus the Abuser on the same degree as Juno the Spouse.  Nessus was paid by Dejanira’s husband to ferry her across the river to see her family.  He could not resist the opportunity to rape her, and did not.  It’s about violence against the ones you have captive, like your wife and children.  Ariel Castro had raging Mars and prominent Nessus, go figure.

The presence of the Node in all of this is almost like an exclamation point or an underline.  Really the chart quite clearly shows a person who makes the kind of choices she has made.   This is the point of her entire life.  She is a highly polarizing figure with this extreme Pluto.  She seems to have almost the entire world polarized against her.  She’s done a great job of putting herself all the way at the extreme outer edge of humanity.

I didn’t mention it before but Hoda has Uranus conjunct Neptune.  I feel like that’s going to make her believe in her own quirky, weird-ass beliefs to an extreme extent.  This will not be a balanced thing, as it’s happening within the blurry-edged Neptune-Saturn issues described above.  Just add a certain intractability and belief that she really is special and different from everybody else, because Uranus is in the mix.

Hoda has an interesting Vesta the True Believer.  It’s in Cancer, so ruled by the Moon — which is of course bound up in the fierce Sun-Mars mutual reception discussed above.   It’s importantly in a sesquare to Pluto, which is how she can watch an ISIS video and think yeah, that’s a reasonable interpretation of Islam.  Her own rampaging, sadistic, Mars-inflected Pluto overtook her ability to recognize the sacred.  This is where her materialistic Capricorn Neptune screwed her right over.  It paved the way for her to just think she can do whatever she wants.  Everything is extreme with her, including her Ceres Mars.

As I see it Hoda’s Vesta has been corrupted by her dominant Pluto, basically.  She’s given way to her devils.  She claims to be some activist of not doing this sort of thing now, yadda yadda GFY.

Hoda’s Vesta is also trine both Saturn and Venus.  At the end of the day she believes in her rich dad’s ability to get her out of trouble.  With her Jupiter right there in the mix of the Scorpio stellium, I’m sure she thinks very highly of herself, loves an adventure, and doesn’t sweat the details as long as she’s in control.

Then there’s asteroid America wedged right in between her Pluto and Jupiter.  That all seems just on the nose, in terms of Jupiter being the government and Pluto being the extremist that rips a hole in the Earth so he can rape a little girl.  This bitch is crazy.  She should definitely not come back here.

As mentioned above she has asteroid Isis right in the center of her bull’s eye, the psychic itch that she can’t quite reach.  That’s located across from the whole Scorpio stellium, and I think I’ve made her dedicated, overarching cruelty and antisocial behavior plain enough.

Her Chiron is in Virgo, ruled by Mercury.  This doesn’t surprise me.  Virgo is where we refuse to internalize anything beyond the intellectual level.  So yes, I’m sure she’s quite bright and even gifted with her Fomalhaut contact.  She might make a fine scientist or researcher if she wasn’t ISIS trash.  And that Virgo detachment from internalizing the emotional realities of other people surely helps her be an ISIS bride in the first place.  I’ve never met a Virgo who enjoyed empathizing or relating on a heart level, even with people they’re close to.  It’s work for them.  People are often something of an abstract concept to Virgo.  And that’s where she will either learn or die from her mistakes.  She needs to get that other people are real, which is incidentally really hard for sociopaths.

Okay, this is kind of making me sick so I’m going to take a wee nap instead.  I did look up the chart of the young lady who shot up YouTube, Nasim Aghdam IIRC.  She comes to mind as I get ready to try to find some balance about all the shit this has stirred up in me.  No worries, I’m on it.  But I may at some point Astrosplain Nasim, because I am baffled by her as well.  I’m able to feel sorry for Nasim, that she went so off the rails, because I believe she was on some level a good person, though unbalanced.  Unlike Hoda, who appears to be a highly aggressive, sadistic sociopath.