For a refreshing change of pace, I’d like to do a bit of the love advising, this time for a young lady called Kyriaki. Above is an artist’s rendering of her sitting at her harp pondering her unhappy love life.
First of all let me say that this young lady is in her Saturn return. That is to say that Saturn the police officer/tax man of the zodiac, has made a full cycle and returned to the position it was in when she was born. That takes about 28 years. Saturn and especially Saturn return can be thought of as “the school of hard knocks.” This was a brutal time in my life, and I have brutal Saturn in my chart. Depending on the person and how complicated their Saturn is, the Saturn return can be brief and mostly painless, or as awful as mine was.
But it passed! I’m still here! I was so miserable and so in love with guys who had no time for me during my Saturn return. I felt like an alien from another planet, who got propositioned by creeps constantly but never asked for dates. This young lady has confided in me that she has also experienced some harassment by creeps, has been profoundly affected by it in fact. She has Scorpio rising, so she may exude a certain sexy, intriguing vibe. Mars and Pluto rule Scorpio, and this is actually an important issue for her, so I will come back to it.
First thing to look at in any natal chart is the Sun’s ruler. Here the Sun is in his own sign of Leo. right in the middle of the sign, and in the 9th house.
I will say that in any chart where someone is having turbulence in the love life, in this case difficulty finding the right one, some things to look at are Venus and Mars. These are the astrological glyphs that literally represent our genitalia, well Venus’ is a little bit of an artistic leap but not too much. Mars is self-explanatory with the boner. This is of course discussing a hetero woman, but all of these influences apply to all people, it just depends how the native uses them. Which sort of person they’re in relationship with is not important, it’s more the dynamics between people, which is more active and which is more passive.
Venus always represents our ability to love and be loved, how we connect and relate to other people, the people in our lives, and especially the women. It thus shows the woman’s self-image, and how she relates in love. Kyriaki has Venus right in the beginning of Cancer (conjunct my North Node, aw!). So her idea of femininity, and herself as a woman, is kind of family-oriented. Not really a huge party person, I expect Kyriaki to prefer a few close relationships to a million acquaintances. This is the sort of woman who makes you little cakes because she loves you.
Mars is where we start hitting a little bumpy patch in this chart. Kyriaki has Mars, her male archetype, in Libra. So she’s looking for a personable guy, easy to get along with, someone with good taste in general and who will appreciate her home cooking specifically and her love of nesting. Someone she can bring to family dinners and know that he will be cool, will get along with everyone and be gracious. However here Mars is conjunct the fixed star Seginus the Guard, which portends ruin through association. There are a few other things that concern me regarding Kyriaki’s taste in men and the specific experiences her soul has sought to have with them. It’s important that she include her family, i.e. her extended support network, in her romantic decision-making, allow the people who truly love her to watch her back.
She also has Mars conjunct Pluto, and this could be where some of her past experiences have turned dark. Pluto is the devil, the maniac who ripped a hole in the Earth so he could drag the child Persephone into hell and rape her. Pluto is that part of us that gets completely insane with rage, lust, or just the demons within. This part can spur us to complete transformation, purification, and higher dimensions. But it can truly ruin a person, as we see with both Stephen Miller and Omarosa, both of whom could be very nice people but their Plutos are turbocharged.
Serial killer John Bittrolff has intense Pluto in his chart. I’m not joking, this is where people go bad. So Kyriaki really needs to vet the men she gets involved with. She needs to have a therapist and/or several other women she can trust to confide in about her relationships in an ongoing way. This because she is extremely vulnerable to mind games and control dramas with the Pluto on Mars. And that is explosive, can turn violent. That’s probably why she’s got that in Libra, she really wants to lighten it up some and make it less potentially awful. (I have very intense Mars, Pluto, and Saturn, and have dealt with extreme violence and problems with men, too.)
Remember Venus rules Libra, and that’s about other people. So Kyriaki needs to make sure that everything about her guy can stand up to close scrutiny, fine-toothed comb style. Venus can be used here by having loved ones watch her back from every angle, basically.
Kyriaki has Juno the Spouse in Virgo, right at the Midheaven. This suggests to me that she could become half of a famous couple, become a celebrity herself, or marry one. Anything within 5 degrees on either side of the Midheaven is a marker of celebrity due to being in what’s called the Gauquelin sector. Not a perfect indicator, but of interest.
Virgo is ruled by Mercury, and is the Virgin. That’s an unusual sign for a spouse, isn’t it? Mercury is the head mind, the part of the mind that we are conscious of, the thoughts and words. He has notoriously little emotional engagement. Mercury is an air planet, whereas feelings are water elements. It is very hard to sublimate water into steam and make it airborne, takes a lot of energy. Much easier for Mercurial types to keep things light and cerebral, avoiding emotional engagement. This suits the Mars in Libra, who also likes to keep things kind of in the head, keep them pleasant or move on. This could lead to an attraction to guys with an empathy problem, especially with Pluto in the mix. This is an unusual set of influences.
Juno is about partnership, not necessarily marriage. Roger Stone and Paul Manafort have Juno magic, for example. Virgo tends to express its love by nitpicking, believe it or not, helping honey to be the best they can possibly be. If you want the person who looks longingly into your eyes and tells you you’re amazing, that’s not Juno in Virgo. Juno in Virgo helps you keep your checkbook balanced, your water filtered, and your shirt tucked in. Strictly no fatties, ask Roger.
Another thing that makes me want to see Kyriaki surrounded by loved ones is Uranus right on the Ascendant. Just saying, this is someone whose personality is front and center. People love her or hate her, they may find her off the wall. But by God, that’s who she is. So if they can’t deal with it, it’s good that we all know right up front and they can make other plans. I’m good with her being fully who she is.
Across from the Ascendant we have the Descendant, the door to the 7th house, representing marriage. This is always something we look at in a romantic chart. Kyriaki has Taurus on the Descendant, also ruled by Venus. So the Sun and Venus are the two most important planets so far. The Moon is in her own sign of Cancer, adding to the overall traditional femininity, emotionality, and intuition of this native. Then Taurus on the Descendant emphasizes that desire for a traditional, loving, family-oriented home where she cooks and keeps everything ship-shape. The Mars/Pluto suggests very passionate sex. But it’s not clear to me precisely what Kyriaki is looking for in a man, and I don’t know if she does, either. There are a lot of different spices in this stew.
Taurus is normally a good sign for a woman, in that Venus is very comfortable in Taurus. This is the spoiled, selfish wife, like Melania Trump. With Jupiter conjunct Juno, and Saturn also in Virgo, I see that she wants someone who is a big money maker, maybe a celebrity, someone who has some influence and some money. Taurus doesn’t mess with broke jokes, ask Melania. Jupiter makes everything bigger, and spends other people’s money. So that is part of Kyriaki’s marriage concept.
What concerns me about the Descendant here is our dear friend the fixed star Algol, the Blinking Demon. I’ve talked quite a bit about Algol on this blog. My favorite example of a positive use of Algol is Nikola Tesla, who had Algol conjunct Uranus, Mr. I Gotta Be Me. This planet is of course also important in Kyriaki’s chart, because it is right on her Ascendant, across from Algol. So perhaps Tesla can be a guide for her in managing this particular aspect, with Algol on the Descedant. He did a beautiful job of riding that particular tiger in his life.
Here’s a gif of Algol blinking that I got from astrologyking.com at the above link.
The thing about demons, they look demonic when you’re in a negative posture. When you’re in a positive posture, they look like angels. This is very similar to the Aldebaran/Antares axis. I see that as a long hallway with the Archangel Michael standing at the Aldebaran end, and the pack of demons he opposes at the Antares end, locked in permanent battle. Then most of us are somewhere in the middle.
But Algol is a little different, in that it doesn’t have a natural counterpart as Aldebaran does with Antares. Where Aldebaran and Antares show the battle between good and evil, maturity and aggression, Algol is more like Pandora’s box. Algol has the effect of taking the lid off of a certain subject in the native’s life, allowing them to explore this topic more deeply than others can imagine, find life experiences that no one else could have.
The trick with Algol, and with any of the high-voltage stars, is integrity. I speak of integrity in terms of structural integrity, wholeness, as in integers. That is represented by Neptune in the chart generally, how one connects to the higher self, to what extent that information can become grounded in the life. An impaired Neptune can represent anything from lies to a deadly addiction, or anything in between. A solid Neptune gives wonderful heart-level connection and insight. Kyriaki has Neptune prominent in the 1st house, and ruling the IC, at the door to the 4th house in Pisces. So this particular point is probably very important to her, she feels this sense of strong integrity in her bones.
She also has Pallas Athena in the 4th house. Kyriaki mentioned having Greek heritage, so I will let her plumb the depths of that on her own, using her own strong intuition.
Back to Algol, which is cause for pause on the Descendant. HoraryMystic gave me a great example of how to look at the 7th house or the Descendant: Linguistically the 1st house is the 1st person, and the 7th is the 2nd person, “you.” So where the Ascendant is your face, the first thing people see of you, the Descendant could be like the first thing you see of them – which is, of course, a direct reflection of yourself, as everything is. That’s really key to remember, especially during your Saturn return: life happens through you, not to you. Everything in this chart was arranged by your own higher self, in order for you to have the experiences and processes that would fulfill the higher self’s goals. So no matter how something may look, how scary or big or dark, know that it is actually a customized, personalized path to enlightenment or it wouldn’t be there.
Thus again it’s important for Kyriaki to ground her relationships in the awareness and judgments of other people, especially with her prominent Pluto. She may have a bit of a desire to play head games or get into dramas with her beloved. Pluto and Scorpio like to keep it sexy, mysterious, and passionate. They don’t get mad, they get even. So this sort of thing can quickly lead to real relationship issues, especially with the volatile fixed stars and asteroids in this chart. This is something to take quite seriously, again, making sure that family and loved ones can exert their influence and judgment on her relationship in case things go out of bounds. She needs her family and friends to keep her safe, basically. She needs to be open to hearing that she is stirring the drama, and be willing to deal with that herself rather than in the relationship, or she risks unleashing real demons into her love life, between the Mars/Pluto/Seginus, the Algol, and a couple of other issues that I haven’t mentioned yet.
Another thing that gives me real pause with Kyriaki’s love life is her Moon conjunct Nessus the Wife Beater and Vesta the True Believer. The Moon is quite prominent in this chart, ruling Cancer and indirectly affecting all water signs as the Moon does the tides. The Moon is how we reflect off of other people, and how we project our psychological dramas onto other people and play them out that way. It’s also about our feelings, dreams, intuitions, fears, and all of the things we can’t quite get a handle on, can never fully know or be in control of.
Nessus the Wife Beater gives me concern for a Moon conjunction, especially with Algol on the Descendant and Mars conjunct Pluto. This is a recipe for really, really bad taste in men. So I will need to leave it to Kyriaki to discern what the higher lesson is for her in this, in what way she would like to work with her Descendant.
The other noteworthy issue on relationship topics is Chiron the Wounded Healer. I’ve been seeing a lot of Chiron, sometimes in places I don’t necessarily understand. It’s one of our more newly discovered asteroids, and as such we don’t have ancient wisdom on how to apply it. Modern astrologers have observed and continue to refine our understanding of it. It is located in the asteroid belt between our fast-moving inner planets and the slower-moving outer planets. So the inner asteroids can be seen as how we interact with others, how we interface once we get done focusing on our own internal needs and processes, like with our spouses (Juno) and siblings, how we identify patterns and create strategies (Pallas), that sort of thing.
Here’s something important about Chiron. For one thing, let’s note that Kyriaki has Chiron the Wounded Healer conjunct Toro the Raging Bull. Toro is where we will see red and charge, our absolute trigger point. There are a lot of volatile things in this chart, and this is another one, I think a big one. Understand that Chiron is a tiny fragment of the planet Maldek, which was destroyed long ago due to the aggression of its citizens. Wayne LaPierre has prominent Chiron on the South Node, suggesting he has brought the same aggression from his other lives on Maldek to this life on Earth — not an uncommon thing.
Meanwhile back on Maldek, where there is aggression, there is someone being harmed. Those people are often doing whatever they can to fight back or defend themselves. Chiron is healthy when he lets go of all of that stuff, counts himself lucky to be simply alive, and gets about processing his injuries and turning them into insight. So that’s a key to resolving all of this and turning it into beautiful transformation — the best side of Pluto.
Pluto is in the Kuiper asteroid belt at the outside of our solar system. As such it represents the outer limits of our experience, the part where the old-fashioned maps would say, “beyond there be dragons.” That makes it also the doorway to higher dimensions, in a different, more conscious way than Neptune. Pluto brings the sunlight in, often through the darkness.
Pluto is about getting all the way to the bottom of something, breaking through to the other side. Pluto represents death, that absolute transformation into a whole new source of life. And that can be a beautiful thing, just like when crocuses pop up from the snow.
And that’s how I would use this Chiron influence. I would like to see Kyriaki ground herself in the beauty of her own soul’s expression. And I think with her bowl-shaped chart she is able to do that. I talk a lot about bowl charts on this blog, and I say terrible things about bowls because mostly I look at bad people. But of course any factor can be used positively or negatively, with free will. At its best, a bowl chart is very focused on self and their own needs. Bowl charts are not easy to distract with other people’s agendas. They don’t necessarily meet others halfway, insisting that people come to them.
I think this is actually a very good thing in this case, due to the heavy malicious male energies. Nessus the Wife Beater conjunct both the Moon and Vesta, that’s deep. Moon conjunctions are felt very deeply and usually lifelong. Vesta the True Believer represents the things we would kill or die for, where we keep our eternal flame. I’m afraid Kyriaki may have some embedded ideas in her consciousness related to “past” lives (all lives are simultaneous, because there is only here, there is only now). This chart is all about facing toxic masculinity in a very full-on way, the various hard factors discussed above.
So that bowl could be the stubbornness that keeps Kyriaki from getting into any dark corners with any men that could turn on her. Making men prove themselves in order to get your attention is a good strategy IMHO, and I would really like to see her focus on making that her superpower. The key is to know that she is a very special sort of goddess, here to do a very special sort of work. If she can value that, I know that this young lady can be an enormously positive influence on the Earth as we clean up our terrible relationships, from #MeToo to #NeverAgain and beyond.
This is truly an impressive chart. Not an easy one to live in, I’m sure. But that Uranus on the Ascendant, and the bowl, I hope are enough to give Kyriaki the courage of her own convictions, let her fall enough in love with her own life’s mission, to slay the demons she has lured here from Maldek in this time of transformation.
In short, my key pieces of advice for this young lady are:
- to be very, very choosy. Make men jump through the hoops of approval of her entire support network. I imagine her mother is a wonderfully supportive archetype and Kyriaki wants to be like her. This is what her mother wants for her.
- Be honest enough with her support people about her own issues, forthcoming enough about her own little devil that the same family and friends can help her check herself before she wrecks herself. That Pluto/Mars thing reflects energies within Kyriaki herself, attracting a certain kind of man. She has no margin of error for trusting men, zero. She is like karmic perpetrator bait. Her role is to face the demons down, her own and those of her lovers.
- Choose from the men who approach her. Make men work and compete for her attention. Develop a preference for men who enjoy proving themselves to her and seeking her approval. Never pursue a man, ever, with these stars. Let her family pick her suitors, better yet. Chaperones would be good.
- Very importantly: Kyriaki must maintain the highest levels of integrity possible at all times. With Fomalhaut on the IC and Algol on the DC, this is a very “go big or go home” energy. The battle between integrity (Fomalhaut) and exploration (Algol) doesn’t have to be bloody. But it will be a big challenge, because both of those are big energies. Kyriaki should strive to never, ever kid herself about anything. The truth will set her free.
Kyriaki had a chance to write me with follow-up questions.
Omg! You are wonderful! Yes actually I have terrible taste in men and I love passion so I go for love at first sight… wordsmith type of men…
That [awful] guy was 0 degrees conjunction my Juno. His sun was in Virgo, and my Jupiter hit it as well. I think that’s where I was super attracted to him. Algol scares me… I really hope I can overcome this!! I do have a temper and sometimes push men away and only because I don’t trust them… ahhh so much to write. You are so great! Thank you
Do you think it’s possible to get married? Why do men come after me in the first place, attraction or those aspects?
Thank you for your kind words. I’m glad I could be helpful. I believe we have found the problem, which is great. I’m going to answer your questions in reverse order.
Why do men come after me in the first place, attraction or those aspects?
Remember that those are not two different things. Those aspects equal the energy you are putting out, the energy that is available to be responded to. Life happens through you, not to you. When you put out a different vibe, a different vibe will come back to you. Eckhart Tolle has done some very nice discussions on the “pain body,” which is something useful for me, too, and any of the #MeToo people. Trauma gives most of us pain to deal with. For someone as traumatized as I am, this is significant.
You need to get very clear on the difference between wants and needs, in general, but specifically in relationship. Anger management is key for anyone with this much Mars and Pluto in their chart. Anger management is about honesty, believe it or not.
Especially with the Moon, Neptune, and the Descendant so prominent in this chart, your life is all about reflecting off of others. So I recommend therapy to specifically help you get on top of any projection you may be doing. The Moon is terrible for this. (Ask me, I know!) On a deeper level you could say that with the Moon, we are able to see into the myriad parallel realities more clearly, and this allows us to project our desires in many different directions. The problem is that other people don’t see all those emotional options, and do not respond accordingly. So the Moon people have to learn to “read the room,” so to speak, instead of getting carried away on the vibes.
Do you think it’s possible to get married?
I am 100 percent sure it’s possible. Is that really the question? If you’re asking about a healthy marriage, that’s different. I am sure that is also possible for you. But you will have to not kid yourself about how much work it will be. Your “love at first sight” thing is like a toddler with a loaded rifle. Your judgment needs work. Your intuition is fine, I give you an A+ on that. Your willingness to plumb the depths of your own feelings is a little extreme with the Pluto and the Algol. I don’t want you blowing yourself up by accident, basically. I really meant what I said about letting your mother run your business. Let them arrange a marriage for you.
The thing is, arranged marriages are actually kind of amazing, especially for someone with the sort of situation you have. We can’t always see what’s best for ourselves in the long run. I know this all too well, with my own intense Moon and Pluto. It is really easy to get swept up in undercurrents, drown in the undertow.
Allowing the people who truly love you (assuming that they are protective and trustworthy, if not get a good therapist) to be intimately involved in your decision-making is a built-in guardrail.
If you think about it, relationships are all about reflecting off of other people, using another person to help you in your process as you help them in theirs. So there’s ultimately no difference between being “in love” with every sentient being you encounter and finding your soul mate over and over again, every second. You need to radically re-think your approach to all of this. Start very, very small. Take baby steps at loving interactions, and work your way up to men you might want to kiss. Let everyone who cares about you cockblock as hard as they can. You will really like the way it feels to have someone jump through hoops to get your attention. And if you build it, they will come. But you have a long, long way to go. You haven’t actually seen the equation yet in order to begin working it.
I have terrible taste in men and I love passion so I go for love at first sight… wordsmith type of men…
This was my difficulty in looking at your Mars/Pluto. You have Dejanira the Victim, Mars, Pluto, Seginus, and the North Node all in Venus’ sign of Libra, in other words how your Venus would like her man to look. If you think about it as a room design, Dejanira makes it small and something she’s chained to, like a scullery maid’s room behind the kitchen. Mars on Pluto makes it like basically a fight club. Seginus makes it in a bad neighborhood. Then the North Node is that strong urge to head in that direction. See the difficulty? With Algol on the DC, you’re looking for the worst in the other, and you’re bound and determined to find it. That’s why you should let your wisest unconditional supporter do the choosing. Your decision-making is self-destructive, and thus you will seek partners with destructive impulses until you sort that. (Ask me, I know!)
So you’re looking for a very passionate wordsmith? Someone who is very 50 Shades but also keeps it super light and is charming and easy to talk to? That’s basically the description of a sociopath, especially with Pluto in the mix and Dejanira in the same sign, Libra no less. Does some part of you want to see if it can get a sociopath to fall in love?
So again, your challenge is to recognize that all of this is actually about you. Remember that there is no “out there” out there. Everything you experience in your life on Earth is a projection of your consciousness. What you experience of people is never all there is to them. There are always connections on deeper levels playing out at the surface. This is not to excuse bad behavior by others. But it is to say that negative behaviors can only reflect negative beliefs. Clearing out my negative beliefs has largely removed the negative people from my world, so I know it works.
If you were in something more like an arranged marriage, that would force you to invest in self-exploration. You’d be getting to know someone else on the fly, and that would force you to check yourself. It really can’t be him, because you just met him. It’s definitely you. You don’t have to go all the way to marrying him right away. But let cooler, wiser heads prevail on every little decision you make with a man.
My sense is that what you want, this intense puppy love that is so sexy and so strong that it can overcome all of the rough tiger cub playing, that’s unrealistic. And for someone with your Fomalhaut contact to think they can play such games is a mistake. You will actually get mauled by a tiger. You are not a cub yourself. You must understand this. It’s all about you, every bit of it. I can only imagine how bad you want that kind of freedom in a relationship. It’s the last thing you need, like a toddler with a loaded gun.