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Donald Trump, Astrosplained

Release date is October 3, 2018

Free copy signup available until September 15, 2018.  Copies will be sent out around then.

Bring your best swamp snacks, it could take a while.


Reader Sandy, Tarotsplained

Gentle Reader Sandy’s questions afford me a perfect opportunity to christen the HMS Tarotsplained.  I like to use a multidisciplinary approach.  Let me note again that I recommend finding a competent therapist (PRO TIP:  not necessarily the first, second, or even third one you talk to) and getting into a long-term therapeutic relationship.   My mental health person is always my most important doctor.  I’m not only talking about people who are abused, either.  I mean everyone can benefit from good mental healthcare.

So I did a tarot reading for Sandy, a five-card reading that would allow me to see a few things in relation to her questions:

  1.  The querent in her position – 7 of Swords, upright
  2.  What’s crossing her, the challenge – King of Pentacles, upright
  3. Her momentum, most prominent energy – 10 of Swords, upright
  4. A choice  – 4 of Swords
    (Sorry, in the video I identify this one as the gift.  It’s not, it’s the option.)
  5. A gift – The World

Because I bungled up the first take at the reading, I will need to do a separate Tarot basics post explaining about the life path card and the significator for the purposes of readings.

In short, the life path card is the one that represents the individual’s evolutionary theme, the major they selected in this university called life.   Then the significator is how that person shows up in ordinary situations.

Sandy’s life path card is the High Priestess.  Because her Sun is in Aries, a fire sign, her significator is the Queen of Wands.

Because Sandy’s life path card is the High Priestess, it’s important to note that the Priestess is by definition a solitary woman who cannot be mated with.  This is not to say Sandy can’t find a mate.  But in order to find a healthy relationship, she will need to evolve her High Priestess.  She must shore up all the chinks in her psychic armor.  Once she has truly become the woman she wants to be, freed herself from her own unhappiness, she will be able to create that relationship.

The Queen of Wands was in the Pentacles (Money) pile.  All of her cards were right-side-up, indicating that she does have a certain amount of clarity.  She knows everything she needs to know.  She is able to get things moving forward without delay.  That’s what all the uprightness means.  She’s clear.

Then of the five cards, only one was a major arcana card — the gift, the little something my saints wanted to give Sandy.  This tells me that Sandy may be getting bogged down in the small stuff.  This can be holding grudges, clinging to bad habits despite being clear about how unhealthy they are, being petty, etc.  The sort of thing where you could take the high road to good effect.  The gift card itself was the only major arcana card, the World.  So my saints encouraged her to use this as the impetus to take her life up a notch, basically.  The situation hasn’t killed her.  So she must become stronger.

One thing Sandy said by email was really striking to me, because I have said or written the exact same sentence to other people more than once, and it never feels like quite enough to express the reality:

As an invisible person (if your mother didn’t care about you, no one else in the world will either!!!) none of this matters to anyone except me.

I sent Sandy to my real-life writing,  I have written a memoir about growing up as a child trafficking survivor, my experiences in rape culture.  And the above is why I decided to write Dear Jimmy,  because surviving rape culture with your soul intact is not considered a superpower yet.  People like me and Sandy are ahead of our time.  But our day will come, as they say.  Almost here methinks.

 I guess I need to know if the rest of my life will be spent in the same manner – with me as an alone, broke loser or is there some switch I can flick to become a mini-Melania?

Regarding the latter — bleccch.  Seriously dunk your brain in bleach.  This is maybe a problem with the Saturn/Venus yod.  I have found that Saturn makes it very difficult for people to see between the lines.  Your option card, the 4 of Swords, speaks to this.

Again, swords represent air, or in astrological terms, Mercury — the thoughts, words, part of the mind we are or can be aware of.  As soon as you become aware of the subconscious stuff through the Moon or Neptune, it goes from the water wheelhouse to the air, Mercury’s domain where we are conscious of thoughts and words.

The preponderance of swords in this layout suggests a need for grounding in the heart mind in order to access the higher wisdom.  This can often be done through the physical body — maybe by practicing acting like a Taurus.  That’s a nice meeting point for Saturn and Venus (the conjunction atop her yod, which may feel very out-of-control), Taurus.  That’s the sort of wife I get you’d like to be.  (Sandy’s avatar is literally a bucket of money lol)

Also with this many swords be on the lookout for lies and treachery, words not matching thoughts.  It would be worse if the swords were reversed.  But a lot of swords is usually fraught in my experience, lots of ways things can go wrong.

So you may fake it ’til you make it with Taurus — in which you have absolutely nothing but the Midheaven — as Mary Kay, Queen of the pink Cadillacs, used to say.  Since you mentioned mail-order Eva Braun, okay, she’s a Taurus with big Saturn in her chart.  So be very sure that that’s who you’d like to be.  I wouldn’t trade places with her for anything, even if I never had to get within 10 feet of him.  But she’s a master of the pussy whip.  OMG, ultimate boss of that.  So she is a good role model for you in that way.  But she is who she is, and you’re someone who reads this blog.  So copy her moves, but don’t kid yourself about her being better than you in any way.  It’s can be a lot easier for the dumber people to focus.

While we’re giving the devil her due, fine.  Think about being the pre-Donald Melania.  I think she met him at some disgusting golf function or whatever, where she was there to compete for attention among the stable.  (I was invited to such things all the time as a young woman, and I have even less desire to go through the looking glass now. bleccch.  Please read my memoir when it comes out.  And watch the video that goes with this post, below.)

However, the squick factor aside, she was masterful at making a plan and executing it.  Because as I said in her ‘splain, he was kind of the fastest gunslinger in the west for gold diggers, if you know what I mean.

So you have to get that she publicly rebukes him, and he keeps sniffing that seat every time she walks out of the room.  Those two things go together.  So you need to work the Venus side more than the Saturn side.  You need to have iron-clad self-respect,  refusal to engage anything but your own agenda, and then the world will have no choice but to mirror that back to you.  Obviously that’s a road to tread with integrity.  You said some things along those lines, I know you’re heading in that direction.  Again, think about the crowd of beauty queens she competed against, to go from fingering herself in a shower in Slovakia or wherever to being the First Lady of the USA.

Treat ’em mean, keep ’em keen.

Readers from other countries may not have caught one particular line or understood the context:  “You stay right, girl, and when you get on [in years] he leaves your ass for a white girl.”  African-American ladies have a rough time finding marriageable men without criminal histories (and thus a socioeconomic blacklist) due to the prison industrial complex in this country.  So the whole thing where you build a man up all his miserable life and he trades you in on a newer model, plus the lingering economic wounds of slavery.

Roses are red,

Doritos are savory.

The US prison system is legalized slavery.

Sandy, you have created this situation from within your higher self.  Never forget that.   With your Moon situation, and your mother (Ceres) playing the devil in your life for an Academy Award on the Descendant, it will be very easy for you to blame your ills on everyone but yourself.  Never forget that life is but a dream, sweetheart.  If lucid dreaming interests you at all, that would certainly be something to explore.  It’s important to understand that we’ve never left the garden.  It only appears that way in this dream we call reality.

Many people have been very wrong, as I said before, and I know they’re not sorry.  But that’s their problem.  Your problem is getting into the mood you want to be in, so you can build the life you want.  The way to lick this problem and create the positive life you want is to insist on it.  You must turn that frown upside down, waiting to see what happens, and letting life (your higher self) surprise you.  Your outcome card, the World, couldn’t be any clearer.

Bashar once explained that the yin/yang symbol is the perfect way to understand the trinity, the empowered position of 3, the reason why 3 is the magic number in our triune universe.  If you think about the yin/yang, the black and white are perfect mirrors, equal opposites.  Then within each there is a dab of the other.  That provides a way to go back and forth, an automatic escape hatch, if you will.  That’s why existence is positive in orientation; there is a choice, the ability to experience the other state if you wish.  And that’s a positive thing, making the balance of existence overall slightly positive.

So.  Once you wrap your head around that, it may be easier for you to follow the rest of the advice in the reading.










Larry Pratt’s Regulus Chiron, Astrosplained

Gentle reader,

This must needs be brief for the time being.  But I see that my Secret Lover Michael Avenatti has a new rival:  Sacha Baron Cohen.

Sacha had me at that green slingshot, long ago, yes.  [Niiiiize!]

slingshot sacha cohen

But I saw a preview for Who Is America.  And gentle reader, I lost it.  my face hurts.  I also couldn’t stop staring at the bizarre face Cohen wore in the interview with Larry Pratt.

But Larry’s quoted below, which was obviously scripted nonsense that sounded good to him.  So Larry’s Neptune, in case you’re wondering, is severely compromised — without even looking at his chart!  Because I can see the liar liar’s pants on fire in the quote below.  Larry Pratt clearly has no tether to legit reality whatsoever.

So yeah, Who Is America? is masterful.  Joe Walsh has bought and paid for one, definitely.  Dana Rohrbacher, too.   They’re both on my list now.  But OMFG, they’re behind Larry Pratt.  And all of these gooves are behind Gentle Reader Sandy.

From the preview for Who Is America?

“Toddlers are pure, uncorrupted by fake news or homosexuality.  They don’t worry if it’s politically correct to shoot a mentally deranged gunman.  They’ll just do it.

The science behind this program is proven.  At age 4 a child processes images 80 percent faster than an adult, meaning that essentially, like owls,(1) they can see in slow motion.  Children under 5 also have elevated levels of the pheromone Blink 182, (2) produced by the part of the liver known as the Rita Ora.  (3)

This allows nerve reflexes to travel along the Cardi B (4) neural pathway to the Wiz Khalifa (5) 40 percent faster, saving time and saving lives.”

Deluxe bacon WTFburger with fries, man.

(1) Insert sounds of scientists shrieking in agony

(2) Blink 182

(3) Rita Ora

(4) Cardi B

(5) Wiz Khalifa

So yeah, I just had to unpack Larry Pratt, head of some gun fuckery organization.

larry pratt chart

So I went to do the splaining, a few things jumped out.  We see the North Node and Chiron right on Regulus there.  I recently did a Paul Manafort/Chiron blog, and I discussed the “check yourself before you wreck yourself” concept with the less-evolved Chiron.  I messed up and said “Chiron” in the video when I meant to say “Maldek” a few times, but hopefully it’s clear enough.

Quick recap, Maldek was a planet located just after Mars, sort of.  Its inhabitants were extremely aggressive, the psychic ancestors of Earth’s conflicts you could say.  Some of the inhabitants were so hell-bent for destruction that they literally destroyed the planet, giving us that nifty inner asteroid belt from which we get most of the asteroids I discuss on this blog.   It’s the chunks and crumbs of the planet that blew itself up by acting out.

For whatever reason, Chiron has emerged from our collective subconscious into our collective consciousness as the focal point for the ones who learned their lesson, sort of.  A strong Chiron connection suggests an individual who had an incarnation during the heyday of Maldek’s madness.  The question becomes whether they learned anything or not.  If you learn from it, your Chiron evolves, and you become “the Wounded Healer,” the ideal AA sponsor who has been through it all and has zero desire to self-harm ever again.

So yeah, that doesn’t seem to be Larry Pratt!  LOL holy mackerel.

With both Chiron and the North Node on Regulus, Larry shares the classic “what goes up, must come down” problem of Harvey Weinstein, many Trump-adjacent and #MeToo types who are going down because of their poor integrity, the expectation that their bad behaviors will be tolerated indefinitely.  Regulus is too big a star, too great an influence to let your integrity flag.

Then obviously the Maldek/Chiron question comes into play, suggesting that yes, you can live the sort of mega-privileged life that this guy clearly has lived, and think you’ve gotten away clean, and then at the very end of your life you appear in this movie.  It’s like living in the penthouse suite of Trump Tower, finding a way out onto the roof, and jumping off, swan dive style.  You may as well try to glide a little bit IMHO.  There’s only one step, but it’s a doozy.

Then he’s got the Alice asteroid (the only sane/decent one in the world) and Madhatter (the scapegoat driven crazy by gaslighting) right smack on top of his Neptune.  I just happen to have those set for my default asteroids right now because that’s what I’m working on for Sandy and myself, etc.  But look how perfectly a propos!

And I now see yet another way to interpret those two asteroids.  I will expand on that in the video.  Now that I’m on the YouTubes, I’m getting lazy about writing — especially since I have a million things to do.  Frankly getting Gentle Reader Sandy stable and excited is more important than the goobers mentioned in this post, so stand by for the video for more on this.


Sandy’s Romance and Resilience, Astrosplained: Hot Take

Gentle reader,

I’ll be doing a series on Sandy’s chart.  She had lots of questions.  But she also had lots of astrological stuff to explain, listed in no special order below.

Keep in mind, things that look the worst make for the best transformation.  There is no pain without gain, if you insist on having it that way.

  • Chiron and North Node combust, in the Sun’s corona
  • Mars on Antares
  • Nessus on Aldebaran
  • Many things on 0 degrees
  • Yod with Saturn conjunct Venus
  • T-square with the Moon  conjunct asteroids Persephone and Mania (I think it’s actually Maniac, but I think of it as representing mood disorders, not spree killers.  Though in fairness it could be both.)
  • Asteroid Alice on the Ascendant
  • Asteroid Ceres the Earth Mother on the Descendant

Sandy chart

I’ll be making a playlist of different things to discuss about this very interesting chart, and I look forward to hearing how things go for Sandy.  Stay tuned.

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez in Joe Crowley’s Chart, Astrosplained

Gentle reader,

As I mentioned on the YouTube channel, there is a real, no-joke asteroid named after Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, for totally legit reasons.  (I’m going to let you research that.)  Her personal asteroid (so extremely boss!!!) is No. 23238 for those who are interested in seeing how she plays into charts.

As promised, here are the charts for Joe Crowley, his natal with asteroid Ocasio-Cortez displayed and the transit chart for June 26, 2018, the night he lost his seat.

Joe Crowley chart


Joe Crowley transits