Chris Christie, Astrosplained

While we’re busy Febreezing New Jersey, this is a good opportunity to Astrosplain what the hell’s been going on over there, at least in the mansion.  Mansions.  He was working at the one on the closed beach in the picture, okay?  Mind your business!  Run for governor and you can have the house too.  Don’t […]

Carter Page, Astrosplained

I really hadn’t planned on traipsing down Cuckoobird Lane all the way to Carter Page’s house, but I just saw a Jake Tapper interview that made me wonder if I was having an LSD flashback.   I can’t take any more of this guy.  Just WTF?   Gentle reader, I Astrosplain because I don’t want you scratching a hole […]

Jeff Sessions, Astrosplained

Ladies and Juggalos, I wish Bob Mueller would catch me being a naughty astrologer and give me the spanking I deserve.  He’s probably married, I’m sorry to say.  Seriously, I hope he throws Jeff Sessions under the jail, along with all his little creeps like Stephen Miller and the truly insane Carter Page.  I really can’t […]

Sam Clovis, Astrosplained

Gentle reader, meet America’s newest heart throb, or at least walking coronary, Sam Clovis.  Mr. Clovis is apparently an expert on Iowa politics.  My mom was from Iowa.  That’s where they invented deep-fried butter on a stick, no lie. The A students over at are still working on birth information for George Papadopoulos and […]

Crime: Dr. Hackett, Astrosplained

Dr. Hackett is a doctor known to have been in contact with Shannan Gilbert in the hours before her death, though it is not clear exactly when, or exactly what happened.   With this sorely afflicted Neptune, expect him to be quite the liar and fantasist, like his friend Michael Pak.  I would also expect both of them […]