Martin Shkreli, Astrosplained

Daytime Friends and Nighttime Lovers, Today on behalf of all humanity, The WuTang has been avenged.   Finally some justice in this system.  The above-linked blog has this amazing picture, God bless whoever screen grabbed it. I wasn’t sure it was Martin at first, because I’ve never seen anything even remotely like that look on […]

Trey Gowdy, Astrosplained

Gentle Reader, I’ve missed you lo these long weeks, been working in the studio and drafting a new novel.  But there is work to do.  They’re running like the proverbial rats from a tremendous, fantastic ship, the greatest ship anyone has ever seen.  Nobody knew there were ships like this.   Like Lord of the […]

Mike Pence, Astrosplained

Every morning as soon as I get up I check to see if Santa Mueller came early and left me the indictments I asked for.   While we await Bob and Rudolph, gentle reader, let’s meet the vice-traitor-in-chief, Indiana’s Favorite Christian, Mike Pence. First things first.  The Sun is in Gemini, so Mercury is the […]

Carter Page, Astrosplained

I really hadn’t planned on traipsing down Cuckoobird Lane all the way to Carter Page’s house, but I just saw a Jake Tapper interview that made me wonder if I was having an LSD flashback.   I can’t take any more of this guy.  Just WTF?   Gentle reader, I Astrosplain because I don’t want you scratching a hole […]

Jim Jefferies, Astrosplained

Comedian Jim Jefferies recently came out with an on-air apology to women for his past trolling of rape survivors.  This got the media coverage it deserved based on believability, i.e., almost none at all.   My summary of his apology: It’s a small part of my act Everybody was doing it, so why am I in trouble? I had no idea all this was […]

General John Kelly, Astrosplained

Like everyone else writing about the meltdown of the US government, I am having trouble keeping up with all of the people that need to be Astrosplained. Stay tuned for Roger Stone’s chart, hopefully before he gets pardoned.  The Mooch and Reince Preibus  both have charts in the works, though their sell-by dates have passed.  […]