Larry Pratt’s Regulus Chiron, Astrosplained

Gentle reader, This must needs be brief for the time being.  But I see that my Secret Lover Michael Avenatti has a new rival:  Sacha Baron Cohen. Sacha had me at that green slingshot, long ago, yes.  [Niiiiize!] But I saw a preview for Who Is America.  And gentle reader, I lost it.  my face […]

Sandy’s Romance and Resilience, Astrosplained: Hot Take

Gentle reader, I’ll be doing a series on Sandy’s chart.  She had lots of questions.  But she also had lots of astrological stuff to explain, listed in no special order below. Keep in mind, things that look the worst make for the best transformation.  There is no pain without gain, if you insist on having […]

Natalia Veselnitskaya, Astrosplained

Gentle reader, I just watched the most amazing interview with Natalia Veselnitskaya, Russia’s answer to Nancy Grace. For some reason as soon as this was over I had the overwhelming urge to watch Meryl Streep’s greatest movie, She Devil.  Weird. I was about to Astrosplain Joseph DeAngelo, and got well into his chart actually, when […]

Dr. Ronny Jackson, Astrosplained

Gentle reader, Today I’m looking at the chart of Dr. Ronny Jackson, the physician so amazing he noticed that Trump was a full pound away from obesity.  I wasn’t trying to be confused or concerned about him being nominated for the VA because frankly why wouldn’t he be?  Meat Loaf is busy.  Why shouldn’t the […]

Sean Hannity, Astrosplained

Gentle reader, It feels like only yesterday that we all heard the courtroom full of reporters gasp and run out to call their editors as the third mystery client was revealed:  Not Sean Hannity!?!  Oh, the humanity!  He just needed a little real estate advice, okay?  Mind your business. The end stage of society has […]

James Comey, Astrosplained

Gentle reader, Please accept my apologies for my lateness.  I know James Comey has captured your imagination just as he has mine.  I’m grateful for the role he has played in our national drama.  But I recall LBT (Life Before Trump), wherein Comey was part of the FBI, which was never my friend.   I […]

Michael Cohen, Astrosplained

As Mother Superior used to say, “Don’t make me come over there.”   The punishment was always worse if she had to come to you to deliver it. Poor Michael Cohen, the FBI brought it to him.  The totally legit-looking guy at the golden elevator of shame in the photo above famously said he would […]