David and Louise Turpin, Astrosplained

Neighborinos, Not to get too depressing on you, but I’m on a roll with the WTF factor of the people who keep people trapped in squalid hellholes for years and years.  Inquiring minds want to know, need to know. David and Louise Turpin, just when you thought nobody could be more gruesome or disgusting than […]

Natalia Veselnitskaya, Astrosplained

Gentle reader, I just watched the most amazing interview with Natalia Veselnitskaya, Russia’s answer to Nancy Grace. For some reason as soon as this was over I had the overwhelming urge to watch Meryl Streep’s greatest movie, She Devil.  Weird. I was about to Astrosplain Joseph DeAngelo, and got well into his chart actually, when […]

Sean Hannity, Astrosplained

Gentle reader, It feels like only yesterday that we all heard the courtroom full of reporters gasp and run out to call their editors as the third mystery client was revealed:  Not Sean Hannity!?!  Oh, the humanity!  He just needed a little real estate advice, okay?  Mind your business. The end stage of society has […]

Martin Shkreli, Astrosplained

Daytime Friends and Nighttime Lovers, Today on behalf of all humanity, The WuTang has been avenged.   Finally some justice in this system.  The above-linked blog has this amazing picture, God bless whoever screen grabbed it. I wasn’t sure it was Martin at first, because I’ve never seen anything even remotely like that look on […]

Casey Cagle, Astrosplained

To Whom It May Concern, By request from Kat, today I am Astrosplaining another man who would be king.  I had not heard of this adorable guy until Kat wrote me about him. Cagle is running for governor of Georgia against an African-American woman. I don’t need a weatherman to tell me which way the […]

General John Kelly, Astrosplained

Like everyone else writing about the meltdown of the US government, I am having trouble keeping up with all of the people that need to be Astrosplained. Stay tuned for Roger Stone’s chart, hopefully before he gets pardoned.  The Mooch and Reince Preibus  both have charts in the works, though their sell-by dates have passed.  […]