Dr. Ronny Jackson, Astrosplained

Gentle reader, Today I’m looking at the chart of Dr. Ronny Jackson, the physician so amazing he noticed that Trump was a full pound away from obesity.  I wasn’t trying to be confused or concerned about him being nominated for the VA because frankly why wouldn’t he be?  Meat Loaf is busy.  Why shouldn’t the […]

Michael Cohen, Astrosplained

As Mother Superior used to say, “Don’t make me come over there.”   The punishment was always worse if she had to come to you to deliver it. Poor Michael Cohen, the FBI brought it to him.  The totally legit-looking guy at the golden elevator of shame in the photo above famously said he would […]

Rick Gates, Astrosplained

Finally birth data for Rick Gates, my prayers have been answered!  Maybe I should start praying for better things.  But I have been curious lo these long months, and I’m probably not the only one wondering about this international man of mystery. I really don’t know a single thing about him except that he was […]

John Bolton, Astrosplained

Koo Koo Ka Choo Luscious Ladies,  Men of LaMancha, There are many miscreants to Astrosplain (TM) these days.   There’s Meghan McCain, with her adorable wedge chart.   There’s Gina Haspel, one of America’s finest torture ladies.  There are James Comey — who I can confidently say is not my homey — and Reince Priebus, […]

Anthony Scaramucci, Astrosplained

I switched from Santa to Cernunnos this year, and I’ll never go back.   He’s the original Santa.  Instead of an appointed date with wrapped presents, you have to wait and see what presents you find.  Cernunnos makes you be open to what treats fall into your lap, and he continues carrying on as long […]

Wilbur Ross, Astrosplained

At the risk of stinking this place up so bad I’ll need a hazmat team to decontaminate, I’m going to take a look at Wilbur Ross before he hopefully dies in jail.  The talking horse was funny, the talking horse’s ass not so much. I have lit a candle for Bob Mueller et al.  to […]